Can anyone give me any advice at all. My son is petrified of spiders. He is 10 and will not sleep upstairs in his bed. He cries and shakes. It is making everyones life a misery.
I have tried sitting in his room with him and "keeping watch for spiders" while he goes to sleep. This has worked on a couple of occasions and I thought it would help him get used to sleeping in his own room again, but out of the blue he will refuse to do it again.
I hate seeing how upset he is and I made a call to a hypnotherapist about it. He said he could help but it would cost me 拢105 a session which I just cannot afford.
I would be very grateful of any advice. I just do not know what to do.
Answer:
Take him to a petting zoo where you can handle the spiders. Phone them in advance to see if they can help you. See if there are any childrens books or cartoons about friendly spiders.
a good clip round the earhole should do the trick
You are really not going to like my answer but it really may work. The only way to control a fear is to face it head on. I would suggest letting him hold a tarantula that is defanged and everytime he refuses to touch it just keep forcing him to and show him it will not hurt him. Thats the way some people deal with fears is facing them head on after that they are usually unaffected by it. But i know that sounds awful and he will probably be scared but its the only thing i can think of. I wish you the best of luck with your situation though.
I'de suggest you check around for a cheaper hypnotist, as the price you were quoted seems excessive. I know that hypnotherapy would probably work, plus, if you can drag him into a pet store, where he could see people handle a spider safely, that might help also. You really have to do something, as 10 is way too old to be scared of sleeping in his own room.
if you give him sleeping pills about an hour before it's time to go to bed he'll be to tired to worry about his fears, or if he still is scared stay up there with him until he passes out.
I would say try to buy some bug spray, and let him spray it around his walls and under his bed. Tell him this will keep the spiders away from him. Just a thought.
Gnihton has it mostly right, except for the forcing part. Exposure therapy has been shown to be helpful, but individuals are not forced to do anything, as that may make their fear worse, not better.
his phobia may be more of a seperation anxiety from sleeping away from you and he could be making up any reason to have you close by. what does he do when he sees a spider and is this a new phobia. or has this just come about when he had to sleep in his own room. however you might take him to a therapist and see what they can do to help with the phobia as well. there should be some sliding scale fee therapist around. i am not sure where you are from but i would just call around. also has he ever been bitten by a spider or maybe saw a scary movie about them like 8 legged freaks or aracnaphobia. those could have scared him too. i don't know. i hope this helps. oh one other thing. see if you can make like a spider trap so that he will feel safe because he has it in his room. or if you have a cat have it sleep with him. they will eat spiders. just some thoughts hope this helps
Not being a psychologist myself but having read about how to conquer fears you could try slowly exposing him to spiders over time. For example, get a photo of spiders and have him look at them, once he's comfortable with that get a fake spider and have him play with it, once he's comfortable with that perhaps expose him to a spider in airtight jar, and so on... These are just examples you can create as many steps as are necessary. A picture may be to much for him so you could start out even smaller perhaps just imagining them. The key is to start out slow and to increase the intensity of each step until he's comfortable with spiders. Eventually, you may even be able to get him to like spiders.
Personally, I LOVE spiders. They're my favorite animal.
Rather than hypnotherapy, why not try "straight" medicine? See a regular doctor or a pediatrician and ask for help. A low dose of Xanax (like, say, 0.25 mg) at bedtime would probably be all your son needs. Should be less expensive than hypnotherapy, too.
Have you looked into a traditional counselor? There are usually reasons children develop phobias of that degree--and that reason will be necessary to overcoming it. Could be as simple as a bad dream or scary movie(LOTR maybe??), could be something else.
Other than that, making sure that people around him react calmly to spiders would make a big difference. I'm not sure I'd be all for taking him to to zoo just yet--doing so before he has seen a therapist may traumatize him even more and provide new experiences to incorporate into nightmares.
If it were truly a spider phobia, then it's awfully convenient that it hits just at bedtime, don't you think?
Honestly, it sounds like he's playing you - and it's certainly working in two ways - he gets out of bedtime and he gets ALL your attention.
Start by getting lots of pictures of spiders and find out how the different types differ in different ways. Acquaint him with the typical ones he's likely to come across in the house of garden.
Introduce him to the tiny 'money' spiders - let him look at one walking on your hand. Show him a spider's web and explain how the spider makes it and what a fantastic thing it is. Explain how spiders are harmless and in fact are helpful in that they get rid of flies and bugs.
Sit him down in broad daylight, and set the groundrules. He can leave a light on in his room at night. If he SEES a spider, he may leave his room so you can put the spider out. He may NOT leave his bed if he THINKS there is a spider. A false alarm will carry penalties - i.e. a drop in pocket money or tv time.
Be consistent with your approach - it will take a week or two for it to sink in, but it will be worth it.
Good luck.
awww bless, my little boy is 3 and he is scared to, he shakes when he sees one.
perhaps try getting him used to them, maybe a programme about them and how harmless they are?
take him the zoo and show him the big ones, these are actually less frightening than the house spiders. perhaps see if u can ask the keeper to talk to your son about them? xxx
Perhaps the only way is to make him face his fear. Ask him whether he's afraid of people around him. Tell him that people learns from nature every single day. Show him that example by destroying a spider's web and ask kim to watch how diligently the spider repairs its webs . Tell him that this is how human learn how to preservere through hard times and rebuild fallen empires. Tell him that humans and spiders have many things in common and this is one such thing. If he's too afraid to watch, just tell him this story gently till he himself have the desire to see the beautiful artwork of a spider and what good workers they are.
Unfortuately a good hypnotherapist does charge. Ask him if he's got any testimonials you could look at, even call? A good therapist would have them.
I would ask myself, if my car broke down, would I find the money to sort it out - if the answer is yes, then your son needs fixing - find the money to sort him out.
Sorry if this sounds a little cutting, but I hate to think that anyone is unhappy and it can be sorted out so easily.
Hypnotherapy should be able to deal with the phobia within 1 session. Probably should take all of 20 minutes.
Easy stuff to do.
Ring a number of hypnotherapists and see who has the credentials, experience in working with children and successful track history.
Another way to get cheap hypnotherapy, ring any of the training schools and ask if they would like a subject to demonstrate on during their next training. I am sure that reputable hypnosis schools would jump at the opportunity to have their students see hypnosis in action with a real case.
Warm Regards,
David
You should get him to a psychologist. Your health insurance should pay for a certain amount of visits. Get him some help soon as this can manifest itself into a more severe issue if left untreated.
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