I really would like to phone up my local doctor's clinic and make an appointment. I want to talk to him and ask my doctor so many questions.
I know i cannot diagnose myself over the internet, but im over 100% i have the things i look up everynight.
I feel i have: Social Anxiety, OCD and CSP. I know it seems that if i really wnated to get help, i would hve gone by now. But i just have this huge fear that he will say there is nothing wrong with me, im wasting my time etc.
Anyone know how to overcome this? Or should i not bother going?
Answer:
Please Go! Write down all your symptoms and things your thinking. Be honest with the Doctor and they will refer you to the Mental Health Professional you should be seeing. Trust that you know what is going on with yourself and just be honest. If the first Therapist does not work out go to another.
It will be worth your effort, believe me.
Well you just annouced to the world on yahoo so why wouldn't your doctor be less supportive..that is what he is there for.
Yes, you need to bother going. But talk to a therapist. Even in 2007, many regular medical doctors tend to dismiss complaints from females, especially young ones. Trying to diagnose yourself will drive you nutz.
Make an appointment with a counselor. Choose one you are comfortable with Male or Female and tell them. It is safe and easy TRUST YOURSELF YOU CAN DO THIS
Your doctor's job is to help you. If you talk to him/her and they make you feel uncomfortable, then THEY are not doing their job. It has nothing to do with you. Doctors know we are usually uncomfortable admitting there is something we feel is not right with us. They should make us feel comfortable and if you are made to feel like you are wasting their time, you might need to look for another doctor.
I honestly belive you should write all that you are worried about and how you feel. You should take your notes with you and ask the doctor everything you need to ask. Its his job to listen and answer you.
I call my kids doctor when ever I have a question, and I expect him to answer my call! If he doesn't I'll give him hell for it. Its my right to ask and to know.
The doctor would tell you what he thinks he can not force you to do anything you dont want to and if you dont like his answers then go to another doctor. Its as simple as that!
Good Luck and God Bless
You do need to go hun. There will always be anxiety about going, however if it is bothering you and causing you distress in your life , then please start looking for answers as to why you are feeling like that.
Good luck to you !
Sometimes you won't get a good doctor who doesn't genuinely listen to your fears. All they have to base their decisions on is what you tell them. Just be sure to stress how this is affecting your life. Definitely go though. Ask all of the questions that you have. All this will have been made harder by the fact that you probably have those things. Bring a friend if that would help.
I had the same problem about making myself clear. I knew I had depression, but I didn't want to admit it. (dang male pride, I thought I could tough it out)
It took a near breakdown in my counselor's office for me to make an appointment to see my doctor.
The counselor wrote everything I had to do and say, or I would have not been able to do it. I had to sneak a call from work (cell phones are forbidden) to talk to my doctor's office.
Please write everything down so you don't forget. A friend reminded me that the doctor is YOUR employee, you are the one paying the bill so make him or her listen.
First, make a written list of what you consider your symptoms and take it to the appointment you are going to make.
Second, ask a friend you trust to accompany you as an advocate who can share if you get tongue-tied.
Third, you may not want to go to a local doctor's clinic but to a mental health center with the symptoms you describe.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, rather silly not to ask for help. Go!
Go!
You need to find a qualified therapist that really knows about social anxiety, OCD and CSP (I'm not sure what this last one is).
If you find someone that really knows these things and has experience, then you are not going to say ANYTHING to them that they have not already heard.
Keep in mind that OCD is NOT you. You are not OCD. Just because you may have very disturbing obsessive thoughts that does not mean you are bad or crazy or anything like that.
Everyone has weird thoughts. With OCD however, the thoughts get stuck and then the OCD sufferer starts to doubt themselves. "Gosh... if I'm thinking about this sooooo much it must mean that it is me." NOT TRUE. The thoughts bother you. The rituals (compulsions) bother you. You would not recommend them to anyone - right?
Have faith in YOU.
I belief that OCD sufferers tend to be very nice, kind-hearted people and OCD takes advantage of that by focusing on things that are most disturbing and painful.
OCD makes a person worry exessively about harm or doing harm to the people and things they care the most about. That is OCD not YOU. if it were YOU, it wouldn't bother you.
Definitely get help. Talk to your parents or other family members that you feel you can trust. Not only do you need to find a therapist that can help you also need support from loved-ones.
In your search for help, you need to find someone that knows cognitive behavior therapy / exposure response prevention. These are the techniques that have been shown by research to actually work and achieve long term relief.
Get help. Get support.
Getting your confidence:
OCD is not you.
YOU are not bad.
YOU are not OCD thoughts.
YOU are not crazy.
You are not alone.
OCD and social anxiety can be effectively treated.
If you are really worried about talking about all of this initially, write it down and take that with you to your Doctor so that you have something from which you can both work.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
How can i gain super powers that will make me go through objects?
i wanna be able to move through objects how can i gain this ability
Answer:
I have bestowed upon you these powers, but you must begin with semi-solids. Find a mature rose bush (wear goggles) and run through it. It will take several times, but keep practicing.
waitt do u mean in real life or in a video game%26gt; if u mean in real life then u cant gain sperpowers and if u mean a video game then it depends which one, but seriousky if u mean in real life, then... uhhh hemm
Human beings are not able to pass through solid objects, and as of yet, there's no technology that enables us to do so.
Also, there are no superpowers to speak of at ALL, let alone ones that defy the laws of physics.
Don't. That's dipping into Satan's realm. Bad Idea. I'll pray for you.
Lottie.I think the only people that can go through objects are dead people, ghosts
Come on over to my house. You dont need super powers. I have a nice wall I could put you through.
Run at whatever you want to go through and dont slow down
Answer:
I have bestowed upon you these powers, but you must begin with semi-solids. Find a mature rose bush (wear goggles) and run through it. It will take several times, but keep practicing.
waitt do u mean in real life or in a video game%26gt; if u mean in real life then u cant gain sperpowers and if u mean a video game then it depends which one, but seriousky if u mean in real life, then... uhhh hemm
Human beings are not able to pass through solid objects, and as of yet, there's no technology that enables us to do so.
Also, there are no superpowers to speak of at ALL, let alone ones that defy the laws of physics.
Don't. That's dipping into Satan's realm. Bad Idea. I'll pray for you.
Lottie.I think the only people that can go through objects are dead people, ghosts
Come on over to my house. You dont need super powers. I have a nice wall I could put you through.
Run at whatever you want to go through and dont slow down
How can i gain my brain memory?
Answer:
I heard if you eat blueberries it helps, they hold a B vitamin I think its like B12
There are certain exercises you can do. There are also many herbal supplements that claim to help brain functions including memory. I have been taking these, I am a sucker for anything that is supposed to help my memory.
"Jigsaw Health: Brain Support" may help:*
* Enhance your memory and mental acuity.
* Improve concentration and focus
* Enhance your mood
* Provide protection to your brain cells from free-radicals
* Enhance you eye health.
* Improve blood circulation to your brain.
* Reduce leg pain by increasing blood flow to the legs and other extremities.
Unlike other supplements supporting the brain, Jigsaw Health Brain Support:
Contains six powerful nutrients for brain health
* Ginkgo biloba extract, widely promoted throughout Europe as the leading "brain herb." Studies have shown that ginkgo biloba may be helpful in enhancing memory and mental function in aging brains, and can improve overall circulation to the brain and the extremities. Ginkgo Biloba contains flavonoids and terpenoids, two chemicals that have potent antioxidant properties which are capable of destroying free radicals that can potentially damage brain cells.
* Acetyl L-carnitine, an amino acid able to pass the blood/brain barrier to destroy free radicals that can damage brain cells. Acetyl L-carnitine has shown promise in reducing mental deterioration associated with Alzheimer's disease.
* Phosphatidyl serine complex, a major component of cell membranes in the brain. It helps increase the activity of neurotransmitters involved in learning, memory and mood.
* DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), an omega-3 essential fatty acid crucial for brain health. DHA is a rich brain-building fat found in human milk, and has a crucial influence on healthy brain development and function. A deficiency of DHA due to a poor diet can lead to a deficiency in brain function. DHA is considered so safe and so important for brain and eye development, it is added to infant formulas in over 60 countries (not yet including the U.S.).
* Choline, a precursor for acetylcholine, an important neurotransmitter involved in memory.
* Inositol, essential for cell formation and transporting fats within the body.
I had the answer to this question, but I . forgot.
Crossword puzzles help with your brain. Do lots of reading, play games anything to stimulate the mind, Eat lots of fruits and vegetables,. Get plenty of rest, exercise. Eat bluberries they help for memory. Take vitamins, and thats all I can think of so far.
If you find a cure let me know--- I lost a lot of my memory-- long story but I now try to do sudoku puzzles which somedays I whiz right through-others I can't even understand them (and it's not due to any meds cause Im not on any). Try to refresh your memory by looking at old pictures and remembering the past- this is what's really hard for me to remember-- if your memory loss is knowledge- then try reading books and papers that were general knowledge to you before and see if you can start understanding--take it slow and don't force it- I know if someone asks me something- I'm under the gun and I can never remember the answer- 2 hours later I can recite what it is because no one is pressuring me for the answer- you may be like that also-- and I don't understand why and neither do the docs...good luck to you....I hope I helped.
Make sure you are breathing deep enough. Take a deep breath once in awhile.
Do some puzzles or cross word puzzles, or any kind of thing that would challenge your brain. An active brain stays active as you age.
How can i forget that awful experience?
I was suffering from depression and anxiety.My childhood was bad,divorced parents..But the real source was that horrible love.I had very bad days.I used to cut myself too.For a year i regularly usedmy medication my doctor gave.But nothing happened.Worse and worse..and last summer i drank all of my drugs and committed suicide.Mother understood and they brought me to hospital.I had my stomach washed with hose.From my nose to my stomach.And i stayed at hospital for a night.My sister fainted because of me.We suffered from that awful night.Now i am fine.I don't want to die.But i can't forget that awful night.Some nights i cry in my bed because of this.Please some advice.I want to forget...
Answer:
The memories of that awful night may fade but you don't want to totally forget it. Remembering how awful it was to have your stomach pumped and how it hurt others you love may be what helps you work on doing everything you need to do to recover from depression and anxiety. If your medicine doesn't work again, tell your doctor. Often it takes trying several medications before you and your doctor find one or a combination that works the best for you. Also, studies have shown that people respond better to a combination of medicine and therapy.
I suffered with depression for six years after my "awful night" before I was finally put on the right medicine combination. Hang on because life can be better and you can be happy...I say this because if I could get better, almost anyone can.
Maybe you could try counseling
DONT EVER FORGET.USE IT FOR A PURPOSE.
you have to process your shame/guilt/feelings.
so you tried suicide. big deal. i almost did. and if i did, so what. you were ill. forgive yourself.
seek counseling. if after a few sessions you think it is not working, tell him/her. and if they don't help, try another. i got lucky (or blessed) and found a good therapist first try.
try your best to take it out of your thoughts on a daily basis, everytime you think of it, just remember how far you have come since, and how great life has been since, and the happyness that you have now each morning you wake up, and take in that breath your still alive. you didn't die. Pick up a hobby, something your passionate about that you can endulge in, for me it's just working out, running my concerns and worries out of my mind and body. Reading is another good one, so is writing things down. Write it in a diary, and take it to a peaceful place and burn the pages. let it go... move forward, holding on will only hold back what you have faught for since that night.
you will be just fine. confide in good friends, and take care, realizing these issues is half way there, handeling them is the hardest part.
You don't forget.. you learn from it.. it makes you a stronger better person. Been in your shoes and i do know .. life is good now all because of that. It's called when you hit rock bottom and now the only direction to go is up.
A good therapist might help.
I say this from the bottom of my heart.. don't dwell on the bad.. instead focus on the positive and take baby steps and eventually you will be ready to run!!
Good luck..
It should help to (no matter how hard tis!) keep telling yourself it never happened, maybe say that was just a bad dream. It will be hard to move on, my life is kinda like that right now. I'm trying to forget, and it's not even over yet.
For crying at night, think about something you did HAPPY that day or week. Or, watch a television show and take your mind off it until you're asleep.
Good luck and God bless
Girl, its time to Move On..EVERYONE has done something they regret--even Moses, and he was God's prophet. Moses killed a man, and God forgave him. Just know that part of being a human being is failing sometimes. We ALL fail--you me, Moses, Donald Trump, your mom, your dad, and even the person you think is the most perfect person. Honey, the thing you must remember is to DONT LOOK BACK. Instead--LOOK TO THE FUTURE. You can become a whole new person. You can be redeemed. Plan a good life for yourself. Follow your Dreams.
Look, do you know Halle Berry? She is the first black woman to win an Oscar in history. Do you know that she tried to kill herself? She did. She attempted suicide one day. But, she got herself together, followed her dreams, and now she is an Academy Award winning actress. Honey, you can do the same. Turn your life around--think about TOMORROW--and the great person you want to be. STOP thinking about the past. Its OVER. You Survived.. Let it God. God saved you for a Reason--find out what that reason is and life a Great Life!
talk to someone u trust, and drink starbucks.
Well, maybe you don`t need to forget to be fine, maybe you need to just confront it. Try not to run away from your past. I`m so glad you`re okay now because depression and anxiety really hurts. Well, my advice is, when you get upset about the night or don`t want to remember, the thing you gotta do is just remember about it and deal with it. You know? Think about the good stuff. Your sister fainted, so that means she cared about you. And your mom took you to the hospital because she cared. I guess that's the bright side. I`m the kind of person who just deals with things usually, and I don`t think you can really forget the past without it coming back. But that doesn`t have to be a bad thing. =] You`re you because of what happened in your past. Just try to focus on the good things.
Pepper, You will not be able to forget it, but the good news is, with proper counseling you will learn how to cope, deal, and can live a happy normal life, in spite of it. You need professional help so that you understand "why" you tried to commit suicide, and cause harm to yourself. I know that you stated some terrible experiences that you have suffered through, but, the underlying reasons need to be talked about.Obviously your past Doctor was not the one for you. A good therapist will help you explore past experiences,and try to connect them with present feelings and actions. I know it is something that you would like to forget, but, talking to someone, a good Doctor, will be detrimental to you, and help you move on. I was a victim of a heinous crime many years ago, I do not want to get into graphic details, but with the love and support of family, friends, and a good Doctor, I am leading a productive, fulfilling life. I was very fortunate, and know that you can too. Please get in touch if you would like to talk. Take care, and God Bless.
take it from someone who nows a painful experince no you cannot forget that memory will always be there i just got out from the hospital because i had an asma attack i could not breath in live support ...needles. colma for 3 weeks...i no it's diffrent but the pain was so unbareable...besides while i was ina colma..i was stuck in a bad dream it all felt so real
Answer:
The memories of that awful night may fade but you don't want to totally forget it. Remembering how awful it was to have your stomach pumped and how it hurt others you love may be what helps you work on doing everything you need to do to recover from depression and anxiety. If your medicine doesn't work again, tell your doctor. Often it takes trying several medications before you and your doctor find one or a combination that works the best for you. Also, studies have shown that people respond better to a combination of medicine and therapy.
I suffered with depression for six years after my "awful night" before I was finally put on the right medicine combination. Hang on because life can be better and you can be happy...I say this because if I could get better, almost anyone can.
Maybe you could try counseling
DONT EVER FORGET.USE IT FOR A PURPOSE.
you have to process your shame/guilt/feelings.
so you tried suicide. big deal. i almost did. and if i did, so what. you were ill. forgive yourself.
seek counseling. if after a few sessions you think it is not working, tell him/her. and if they don't help, try another. i got lucky (or blessed) and found a good therapist first try.
try your best to take it out of your thoughts on a daily basis, everytime you think of it, just remember how far you have come since, and how great life has been since, and the happyness that you have now each morning you wake up, and take in that breath your still alive. you didn't die. Pick up a hobby, something your passionate about that you can endulge in, for me it's just working out, running my concerns and worries out of my mind and body. Reading is another good one, so is writing things down. Write it in a diary, and take it to a peaceful place and burn the pages. let it go... move forward, holding on will only hold back what you have faught for since that night.
you will be just fine. confide in good friends, and take care, realizing these issues is half way there, handeling them is the hardest part.
You don't forget.. you learn from it.. it makes you a stronger better person. Been in your shoes and i do know .. life is good now all because of that. It's called when you hit rock bottom and now the only direction to go is up.
A good therapist might help.
I say this from the bottom of my heart.. don't dwell on the bad.. instead focus on the positive and take baby steps and eventually you will be ready to run!!
Good luck..
It should help to (no matter how hard tis!) keep telling yourself it never happened, maybe say that was just a bad dream. It will be hard to move on, my life is kinda like that right now. I'm trying to forget, and it's not even over yet.
For crying at night, think about something you did HAPPY that day or week. Or, watch a television show and take your mind off it until you're asleep.
Good luck and God bless
Girl, its time to Move On..EVERYONE has done something they regret--even Moses, and he was God's prophet. Moses killed a man, and God forgave him. Just know that part of being a human being is failing sometimes. We ALL fail--you me, Moses, Donald Trump, your mom, your dad, and even the person you think is the most perfect person. Honey, the thing you must remember is to DONT LOOK BACK. Instead--LOOK TO THE FUTURE. You can become a whole new person. You can be redeemed. Plan a good life for yourself. Follow your Dreams.
Look, do you know Halle Berry? She is the first black woman to win an Oscar in history. Do you know that she tried to kill herself? She did. She attempted suicide one day. But, she got herself together, followed her dreams, and now she is an Academy Award winning actress. Honey, you can do the same. Turn your life around--think about TOMORROW--and the great person you want to be. STOP thinking about the past. Its OVER. You Survived.. Let it God. God saved you for a Reason--find out what that reason is and life a Great Life!
talk to someone u trust, and drink starbucks.
Well, maybe you don`t need to forget to be fine, maybe you need to just confront it. Try not to run away from your past. I`m so glad you`re okay now because depression and anxiety really hurts. Well, my advice is, when you get upset about the night or don`t want to remember, the thing you gotta do is just remember about it and deal with it. You know? Think about the good stuff. Your sister fainted, so that means she cared about you. And your mom took you to the hospital because she cared. I guess that's the bright side. I`m the kind of person who just deals with things usually, and I don`t think you can really forget the past without it coming back. But that doesn`t have to be a bad thing. =] You`re you because of what happened in your past. Just try to focus on the good things.
Pepper, You will not be able to forget it, but the good news is, with proper counseling you will learn how to cope, deal, and can live a happy normal life, in spite of it. You need professional help so that you understand "why" you tried to commit suicide, and cause harm to yourself. I know that you stated some terrible experiences that you have suffered through, but, the underlying reasons need to be talked about.Obviously your past Doctor was not the one for you. A good therapist will help you explore past experiences,and try to connect them with present feelings and actions. I know it is something that you would like to forget, but, talking to someone, a good Doctor, will be detrimental to you, and help you move on. I was a victim of a heinous crime many years ago, I do not want to get into graphic details, but with the love and support of family, friends, and a good Doctor, I am leading a productive, fulfilling life. I was very fortunate, and know that you can too. Please get in touch if you would like to talk. Take care, and God Bless.
take it from someone who nows a painful experince no you cannot forget that memory will always be there i just got out from the hospital because i had an asma attack i could not breath in live support ...needles. colma for 3 weeks...i no it's diffrent but the pain was so unbareable...besides while i was ina colma..i was stuck in a bad dream it all felt so real
How can I fix my paranoid quality?
When listening to people or observing their attitude toward me, I just read too much out of them and often make exaggerated assumptions about their motives. This makes me angry at even little things, and restrain me from opening with all people.
Answer:
You're not being paranoid.
Realize how narcissistic everyone else is; people are not going to spend all of their energy focusing on you, they are too wound up in themselves, kind of like you.
Understand that only a handful of people in your life care about your existence. If you died today, I wouldn't give a fu%26lt;k and neither would the rest of the world. Being paranoid is ridiculous. Get over yourself.
Most people are concerned with themselves 24/7, they are not focusing on you. Someone told me that once. Also remember, the world doesn't revolve around you. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just reality. Then there's always counseling.
First thing - if you smoke marijuana - try quitting it for a while and see if the symptoms persist. It's not an urban legend, it DOES make you paranoid.
If you don't smoke marijuana or the symptoms don't lessen after withdrawl, then consider seeing a psychologist or another mental health professional. Paranoia can affect you profoundly and it will affect your relationships with others in a negative fashion. The trick is to be able to trust the mental health professional - paranoia can be very hard to treat due to the lack of trust - how can you trust anyone if you think they have a hidden agenda, for example?
But that's up to you, not to me. If I were you, I'd try and get some help and if only at that one time, try and trust the best I could. I know it would be hard for you, but eyes on the prize: mental health and some measure of peace from your paranoia.
Answer:
You're not being paranoid.
Realize how narcissistic everyone else is; people are not going to spend all of their energy focusing on you, they are too wound up in themselves, kind of like you.
Understand that only a handful of people in your life care about your existence. If you died today, I wouldn't give a fu%26lt;k and neither would the rest of the world. Being paranoid is ridiculous. Get over yourself.
Most people are concerned with themselves 24/7, they are not focusing on you. Someone told me that once. Also remember, the world doesn't revolve around you. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just reality. Then there's always counseling.
First thing - if you smoke marijuana - try quitting it for a while and see if the symptoms persist. It's not an urban legend, it DOES make you paranoid.
If you don't smoke marijuana or the symptoms don't lessen after withdrawl, then consider seeing a psychologist or another mental health professional. Paranoia can affect you profoundly and it will affect your relationships with others in a negative fashion. The trick is to be able to trust the mental health professional - paranoia can be very hard to treat due to the lack of trust - how can you trust anyone if you think they have a hidden agenda, for example?
But that's up to you, not to me. If I were you, I'd try and get some help and if only at that one time, try and trust the best I could. I know it would be hard for you, but eyes on the prize: mental health and some measure of peace from your paranoia.
How can i find someone to talk to about my problem?
i have been depressed for a few months now.i have not told my gp as i feel ashamed.i have lost my business and sunk into huge debt.i can no longer pay my bills and i am drinking heavily,i can not go on much longer
Answer:
you could speak to a councillor at the samaritans, or go back to your gp and demand some help. You could also give nhs direct a call and see if they can refer you
xxx
Next please.
change your g.p or find the courage to talk to your current one...you know you have to do something...maybe things have got to get worse before you take action...so that's the choice you have.is going to your doc worse than the situation you are currently in? get your **** over there!
you have already done a move by speaking out your problem,that's always the hardest part...
first of all,cut the drinking,it will worsen everything,i know its escapism but you got to veer away from it.
if you are into religion talk to your local priest,but other than that,ByeDr.com isnt the right place to talk about this matter
seek help from a medical team
PLEASE
WISH YOU BEST OF LUCK
It's time to hire a professional to help you navigate through these troubled waters, my friend. On the back of your insurance card, you'll find a number to call to get a visit to a psychiatrist pre-certified. Call it now. If you know anyone personally in the local area who has seen (and is satisfied with) his/her psychiatrist, find out if he/she is in network.
At this point, you most likely need to get started on meds. Psychotherapy will be helpful, as well .Research has proven time and time again that the optimal method for combatting depression is a two-pronged approach including both psychotherapy AND medication.
DO not delay. This likely will not improve on its own, and it sounds like your life is already unravelling.
Call today.
Hang in there,
~M~
get chatting to some nice young chicks on bebo, faceparty or profileheaven. works wonders after a stressfull day.
Why don't you go to AA then? Everyone there has been, or is where you are right now.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. The shame would be in letting this suck you down so far that you can't get back up. You can reverse this whole mess, you know.
If you don't feel that you can stop drinking right at this moment, ok. You still should go to a meeting (just don't drive drunk please).
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?med...
dont feel ashamed just pop along to your doctor tell them whats going on, they see it all the time and you`ll feel a lot better. they also know of places you can go and talk about your problems. good luck.
get in touch with gp - can sort out helping
avoid further debt
best wishes
There is no need to feel ashamed about being depressed...telling someone is the best first step that you could possibly do. You're GP is there to listen and if needed, to refer you to a specialist, they are not there to judge.
Ring a helpline and talk to a trained councillor, they are there to help and are completely annonumus.
Good Luck : )
I'm sorry to hear about your problem, but you are not alone. It may feel like it but i can assure you're not. You need to talk to someone and not bottle it up cos that wont help you. If you can talk to your gp. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Talk about your situation to them as your first step. Secondly, seek legal advice. If you're in the uk go to the citizens advice bureau. They have brilliant tools to give you in order to deal with the loss of your business and how to handle your debt. You need to see them asap. They will help draw up letters to send out to the people you owe and get you on the right track. CAB are brilliant for this sort of thing. But dont give up hope and dont leave it. It wont help you and neither will the bottle you keep as company. We have all at some point in our lives gone through times like this and come out the other side, fitter and wiser. You can too. So take hold of those reigns and take control of your life again. I hope this has helped in some way. Good Luck!
If you are in UK check Thompson's Local telephone directory. Somewhere at the front you will find all the help you need from your local authority. Your problem[s] can be dealt with and you can get help swiftly. Be open and honest about your situation.
Good luck.
stop going to the bottle as everyone knows it does not take the problem away, hang in there this will pass i always wondered if this type of thing happens alot and it does most people has gone through the same as you, We went through it and we battled on for over 4 years now we are back on our feet and doing much better. Remember that if you fall of you bike you have to get on it agian . So leave the bottle and do your best to move on , take one day at a time. Make arrangements with the people you cant pay as they can become nasty should you just leave them Good luck my thoughts are with you as i know its not a very nice position to be in as most of your friends and family will also turn away but show them that you can do it
first thing u should stop drinking cos it wont solve your problem. there are many people around u who love and would like to help u. u just have to think of them e.g. your close friends. u have to forget that u r depressed and look forward for life cos u are going to meet lots of things like this. and about your debit your friends and family can help u to get over it.
Go to your doctor, explain to him that you are suffering from depression and ask for a referral to a psychologist.
There are short term help like the Samaritans. But you do need to see a psychologist to help you. I know the despair you feel and that feeling of panic and drowning. But don't give in. Stop drinking - It doesn't help. It's a depressant.
I found writing in a notebook all my thoughts and feelings helped to purge myself of all the dark thoughts. It doesn't matter what you write. And don't be afraid of crying. You have to let out all the bad emotions before they become to great that you explode. Once you have purged yourself of these emotions, then acceptance and finding your centre becomes easier. Also go to your bank, talk to them about your debt and ask for their help and advice. They are quite willing to help usually. But you have to go to them.
Don't put it off. The sooner you start, the sooner you recover.
Well do you think that drinking heavily is going to hep that sounds like a mini lecture but as you mentionn it you must know that it is true .
Go and see your Doctor the hardest step is the first step out of the door . Your business has failed but you as a human being need not unless you will it .The businass folding will resolve itself in time fimnacially . They cant get blood our t of a stone and I'm sure youn know that in America peolple often have six trys before they finally give up .
When you start again are you going to do the same kind of business think carefully if the market is boyant enough to support it . Of course it is very hard to see into the future so a little flexibility is anovel and will hold you in good stead however let us talk about your immmediate plan .
The doctor will put you on anti depresants , he will instruct you not to drink alchol , that is because alcohol is a depressant and works against teh medicine .
I assume you do not have any supportive infastructurew , as you dont mention any peolpe in your life accept this it could be an advantage as if you accepted help you may find you have to pay back alot more than you get eventually.
Finally I notice that you say you are ashamed dont be only feel shame if you have done something intentionally imoral you havent you were just trying to make a living .
I dont know how far you have gotten with your drinking ,but consider alcholics anonymous
well drink ing willnjot help. at the very least the money you are spending on drink could be paying off your bills. i suggest you contact acolohics anonymous and a debt counselling aganey NOT a loan company and do something positive to get yourself out of theis mess.
Trust me. I know how your feeling... I have had a lot of turmoil in my life over the last few years, then when you feel like your back on your feet, you can still fall. I recently went on a quest to find a better paying and more satisfying job, only to find I hated it, so I had to quit. After the first month I sunk into a deep depression and felt suicidal. (especially once the bills start piling up...) I have felt like this on and off for a few years as nothing ever seems to be where I want it no matter how hard I work at things, but I have OCD which makes me obsess. You just have to tell yourself "I refuse to worry about money... I will allow myself to be happy... etc."
Step 1. the WORST thing you can do is give up, FORCE yourself to get up every day and go out and do something positive.
- Look for some work (even part time) to keep you balanced till you get on your feet.
- Even do volunteer work for others less fortunate, this will help you put a positive spin on things... (such as I cried cause I had no shoes, till I met a man with no feet...) Remember things can be worse, be grateful for what you DO have, and remember it is in YOUR power to move ahead.
- Maybe travel somewhere where you can do some fruit picking perhaps? Money and travel puts a better perspective on things... a part time job at a nursing home? (even cleaning)
Think of what you have accomplished already in life (such as even being able to set up your own business... a lot of people are too afraid to even try that!)
Trust me, sticking your head in the sand and not taking action will only keep digging your hole further down, and it gets harder and harder to get out.
At the very least...
- ring up the places where you have debts, explain the situation... they will be very understanding usually and this will buy you some time to get on top of the bills.
Once again. NOT TAKING ACTION WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE...
DONT be ashamed to tell your doctor... medication may help ease your mind for the time being, and even just getting it out in the open and off your chest will help more than you know.
Just remember... You have the power, dont LET it get you down... others have felt this many times, you WILL come out of it... and in the meantime you may be pleasantly surprised what you find out about yourself.
Helping others will take your mind off your own problems... and back to the beginning is a very good place to start! Money isnt everything, try to be content with a warm blanket and food in your belly, water in your glass etc. Think how much worse it could be... (like perhaps if you were in prison or got told you had cancer and not long to live...) it is imperative to put a different spin on things and have acceptance for the situation and yourself. It seems you have the intelligence to make something of yourself again... so give yourself a break, take it easy, but start taking baby steps at getting back on your feet...
Make a list of your issues, and write next to them why you shouldnt worry / options on how you can fix them / and how it could be worse. Then set little goals for yourself each day and try to accomplish t least some of them. Making a to do list will also help.
Search online for forums to chat in... (be careful some people can be insensitive...)
Ask your doctor for a referral to a cousellor...
Or find a helpline you can ring (look in your phone directory- usually in the first few pages) they can also refer you onto someone...
But DONT BE HARD ON YOURSELF.
even the best of us fall at times, it is our ability to get up again when we stumble that defines our strength as a person.
Last word: "this too shall pass..." Keep up the fighting spirit my friend...
OK.lets deal with each issue instead of lumping them together!! No-one nowadays should be ashamed to speak to their doctor about depression. Make an appt now!!
Business's do fail..i have personal proof of this.and debts do mou nt up which is a very big worry. However, all companies have a legal obligation to try and help you clear those debts by an agreement. If you don't feel up to speaking to all your debtors..see the citizens advise bureau who will help. Do not contact any debt consolidation companies...they are bad news. The drinking can be dealt with leter on but try and curb it a little as it will add to your depression but i know how hard that is. You need to start turning things around. See yourself in 5 years time with all this behind you. It will have been a learning curve and we can all start again. Life is too precious to feel so desparate so start dealing with each issue and set yourself one small task every day so it doesn't seem so daunting. Keep strong!
im not a professional, but i like to think about wat the worst thing that cud happen wud be. i always figure that if all else fails, i can just go and be a squating hermit in the wilderness and spend my days writing and painting and doing odd jobs to buy myself cans of beans to live off of or some ****. that wudnt be so bad as long as u have the right attitude about it. i guess this wasnt really good advise. i dont know if ur being treated already, but it might be good to see a doctor. take up a hobby to consume ur interest. i dont know. if it makes u feel better im a hs valadictorian who is about to fail half of her classes her freshman yr of college due to depression. at least u made it further than me, right? u have the skills to clean things up. i like to think that problems clear up if u give them time and that u just have to chill and let them fall into place. remember to enjoy the little things in life when the big things are ****. remember that there are alot of ppl who suffer in the world, and that u are worthy of as much attention as they are for ur troubles, but sometimes u need to be the big player in finding the solution. i suggest making sure u spend as much time around other ppl as possible. i think ppl start getting their worst wen the have too much time alone to think about their troubles and worry over their next move. im prob too young to provide u with to much help when it comes to talking, but if ur interested in learning about how other ppls lives are who deal with depression--dont know, it kinda helps me to hear about the stories of others so ive begun to offer this one up on here:
http://helterskelterhereiam.blogspot.com...
i wish u well and am confident that u will see a brighter day. later
Go to your doctor and ask to be refered to a conceller
I went to my local doctor, i had fears of feeling embarrassed and alone and frustrated and confused, i needed help desperately through the loss of my child. I could have taken many directions but i chose to get help. Remember there is nothing to be ashamed about, they are there to help you. Be strong and take yourself there and get yourself sorted ok ? i wish you loads of luck ! I am now a counsellor and if you ever feel you need to let things out feel free to contact me on pollyrose3@hotmail.com
Answer:
you could speak to a councillor at the samaritans, or go back to your gp and demand some help. You could also give nhs direct a call and see if they can refer you
xxx
Next please.
change your g.p or find the courage to talk to your current one...you know you have to do something...maybe things have got to get worse before you take action...so that's the choice you have.is going to your doc worse than the situation you are currently in? get your **** over there!
you have already done a move by speaking out your problem,that's always the hardest part...
first of all,cut the drinking,it will worsen everything,i know its escapism but you got to veer away from it.
if you are into religion talk to your local priest,but other than that,ByeDr.com isnt the right place to talk about this matter
seek help from a medical team
PLEASE
WISH YOU BEST OF LUCK
It's time to hire a professional to help you navigate through these troubled waters, my friend. On the back of your insurance card, you'll find a number to call to get a visit to a psychiatrist pre-certified. Call it now. If you know anyone personally in the local area who has seen (and is satisfied with) his/her psychiatrist, find out if he/she is in network.
At this point, you most likely need to get started on meds. Psychotherapy will be helpful, as well .Research has proven time and time again that the optimal method for combatting depression is a two-pronged approach including both psychotherapy AND medication.
DO not delay. This likely will not improve on its own, and it sounds like your life is already unravelling.
Call today.
Hang in there,
~M~
get chatting to some nice young chicks on bebo, faceparty or profileheaven. works wonders after a stressfull day.
Why don't you go to AA then? Everyone there has been, or is where you are right now.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. The shame would be in letting this suck you down so far that you can't get back up. You can reverse this whole mess, you know.
If you don't feel that you can stop drinking right at this moment, ok. You still should go to a meeting (just don't drive drunk please).
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/?med...
dont feel ashamed just pop along to your doctor tell them whats going on, they see it all the time and you`ll feel a lot better. they also know of places you can go and talk about your problems. good luck.
get in touch with gp - can sort out helping
avoid further debt
best wishes
There is no need to feel ashamed about being depressed...telling someone is the best first step that you could possibly do. You're GP is there to listen and if needed, to refer you to a specialist, they are not there to judge.
Ring a helpline and talk to a trained councillor, they are there to help and are completely annonumus.
Good Luck : )
I'm sorry to hear about your problem, but you are not alone. It may feel like it but i can assure you're not. You need to talk to someone and not bottle it up cos that wont help you. If you can talk to your gp. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Talk about your situation to them as your first step. Secondly, seek legal advice. If you're in the uk go to the citizens advice bureau. They have brilliant tools to give you in order to deal with the loss of your business and how to handle your debt. You need to see them asap. They will help draw up letters to send out to the people you owe and get you on the right track. CAB are brilliant for this sort of thing. But dont give up hope and dont leave it. It wont help you and neither will the bottle you keep as company. We have all at some point in our lives gone through times like this and come out the other side, fitter and wiser. You can too. So take hold of those reigns and take control of your life again. I hope this has helped in some way. Good Luck!
If you are in UK check Thompson's Local telephone directory. Somewhere at the front you will find all the help you need from your local authority. Your problem[s] can be dealt with and you can get help swiftly. Be open and honest about your situation.
Good luck.
stop going to the bottle as everyone knows it does not take the problem away, hang in there this will pass i always wondered if this type of thing happens alot and it does most people has gone through the same as you, We went through it and we battled on for over 4 years now we are back on our feet and doing much better. Remember that if you fall of you bike you have to get on it agian . So leave the bottle and do your best to move on , take one day at a time. Make arrangements with the people you cant pay as they can become nasty should you just leave them Good luck my thoughts are with you as i know its not a very nice position to be in as most of your friends and family will also turn away but show them that you can do it
first thing u should stop drinking cos it wont solve your problem. there are many people around u who love and would like to help u. u just have to think of them e.g. your close friends. u have to forget that u r depressed and look forward for life cos u are going to meet lots of things like this. and about your debit your friends and family can help u to get over it.
Go to your doctor, explain to him that you are suffering from depression and ask for a referral to a psychologist.
There are short term help like the Samaritans. But you do need to see a psychologist to help you. I know the despair you feel and that feeling of panic and drowning. But don't give in. Stop drinking - It doesn't help. It's a depressant.
I found writing in a notebook all my thoughts and feelings helped to purge myself of all the dark thoughts. It doesn't matter what you write. And don't be afraid of crying. You have to let out all the bad emotions before they become to great that you explode. Once you have purged yourself of these emotions, then acceptance and finding your centre becomes easier. Also go to your bank, talk to them about your debt and ask for their help and advice. They are quite willing to help usually. But you have to go to them.
Don't put it off. The sooner you start, the sooner you recover.
Well do you think that drinking heavily is going to hep that sounds like a mini lecture but as you mentionn it you must know that it is true .
Go and see your Doctor the hardest step is the first step out of the door . Your business has failed but you as a human being need not unless you will it .The businass folding will resolve itself in time fimnacially . They cant get blood our t of a stone and I'm sure youn know that in America peolple often have six trys before they finally give up .
When you start again are you going to do the same kind of business think carefully if the market is boyant enough to support it . Of course it is very hard to see into the future so a little flexibility is anovel and will hold you in good stead however let us talk about your immmediate plan .
The doctor will put you on anti depresants , he will instruct you not to drink alchol , that is because alcohol is a depressant and works against teh medicine .
I assume you do not have any supportive infastructurew , as you dont mention any peolpe in your life accept this it could be an advantage as if you accepted help you may find you have to pay back alot more than you get eventually.
Finally I notice that you say you are ashamed dont be only feel shame if you have done something intentionally imoral you havent you were just trying to make a living .
I dont know how far you have gotten with your drinking ,but consider alcholics anonymous
well drink ing willnjot help. at the very least the money you are spending on drink could be paying off your bills. i suggest you contact acolohics anonymous and a debt counselling aganey NOT a loan company and do something positive to get yourself out of theis mess.
Trust me. I know how your feeling... I have had a lot of turmoil in my life over the last few years, then when you feel like your back on your feet, you can still fall. I recently went on a quest to find a better paying and more satisfying job, only to find I hated it, so I had to quit. After the first month I sunk into a deep depression and felt suicidal. (especially once the bills start piling up...) I have felt like this on and off for a few years as nothing ever seems to be where I want it no matter how hard I work at things, but I have OCD which makes me obsess. You just have to tell yourself "I refuse to worry about money... I will allow myself to be happy... etc."
Step 1. the WORST thing you can do is give up, FORCE yourself to get up every day and go out and do something positive.
- Look for some work (even part time) to keep you balanced till you get on your feet.
- Even do volunteer work for others less fortunate, this will help you put a positive spin on things... (such as I cried cause I had no shoes, till I met a man with no feet...) Remember things can be worse, be grateful for what you DO have, and remember it is in YOUR power to move ahead.
- Maybe travel somewhere where you can do some fruit picking perhaps? Money and travel puts a better perspective on things... a part time job at a nursing home? (even cleaning)
Think of what you have accomplished already in life (such as even being able to set up your own business... a lot of people are too afraid to even try that!)
Trust me, sticking your head in the sand and not taking action will only keep digging your hole further down, and it gets harder and harder to get out.
At the very least...
- ring up the places where you have debts, explain the situation... they will be very understanding usually and this will buy you some time to get on top of the bills.
Once again. NOT TAKING ACTION WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE...
DONT be ashamed to tell your doctor... medication may help ease your mind for the time being, and even just getting it out in the open and off your chest will help more than you know.
Just remember... You have the power, dont LET it get you down... others have felt this many times, you WILL come out of it... and in the meantime you may be pleasantly surprised what you find out about yourself.
Helping others will take your mind off your own problems... and back to the beginning is a very good place to start! Money isnt everything, try to be content with a warm blanket and food in your belly, water in your glass etc. Think how much worse it could be... (like perhaps if you were in prison or got told you had cancer and not long to live...) it is imperative to put a different spin on things and have acceptance for the situation and yourself. It seems you have the intelligence to make something of yourself again... so give yourself a break, take it easy, but start taking baby steps at getting back on your feet...
Make a list of your issues, and write next to them why you shouldnt worry / options on how you can fix them / and how it could be worse. Then set little goals for yourself each day and try to accomplish t least some of them. Making a to do list will also help.
Search online for forums to chat in... (be careful some people can be insensitive...)
Ask your doctor for a referral to a cousellor...
Or find a helpline you can ring (look in your phone directory- usually in the first few pages) they can also refer you onto someone...
But DONT BE HARD ON YOURSELF.
even the best of us fall at times, it is our ability to get up again when we stumble that defines our strength as a person.
Last word: "this too shall pass..." Keep up the fighting spirit my friend...
OK.lets deal with each issue instead of lumping them together!! No-one nowadays should be ashamed to speak to their doctor about depression. Make an appt now!!
Business's do fail..i have personal proof of this.and debts do mou nt up which is a very big worry. However, all companies have a legal obligation to try and help you clear those debts by an agreement. If you don't feel up to speaking to all your debtors..see the citizens advise bureau who will help. Do not contact any debt consolidation companies...they are bad news. The drinking can be dealt with leter on but try and curb it a little as it will add to your depression but i know how hard that is. You need to start turning things around. See yourself in 5 years time with all this behind you. It will have been a learning curve and we can all start again. Life is too precious to feel so desparate so start dealing with each issue and set yourself one small task every day so it doesn't seem so daunting. Keep strong!
im not a professional, but i like to think about wat the worst thing that cud happen wud be. i always figure that if all else fails, i can just go and be a squating hermit in the wilderness and spend my days writing and painting and doing odd jobs to buy myself cans of beans to live off of or some ****. that wudnt be so bad as long as u have the right attitude about it. i guess this wasnt really good advise. i dont know if ur being treated already, but it might be good to see a doctor. take up a hobby to consume ur interest. i dont know. if it makes u feel better im a hs valadictorian who is about to fail half of her classes her freshman yr of college due to depression. at least u made it further than me, right? u have the skills to clean things up. i like to think that problems clear up if u give them time and that u just have to chill and let them fall into place. remember to enjoy the little things in life when the big things are ****. remember that there are alot of ppl who suffer in the world, and that u are worthy of as much attention as they are for ur troubles, but sometimes u need to be the big player in finding the solution. i suggest making sure u spend as much time around other ppl as possible. i think ppl start getting their worst wen the have too much time alone to think about their troubles and worry over their next move. im prob too young to provide u with to much help when it comes to talking, but if ur interested in learning about how other ppls lives are who deal with depression--dont know, it kinda helps me to hear about the stories of others so ive begun to offer this one up on here:
http://helterskelterhereiam.blogspot.com...
i wish u well and am confident that u will see a brighter day. later
Go to your doctor and ask to be refered to a conceller
I went to my local doctor, i had fears of feeling embarrassed and alone and frustrated and confused, i needed help desperately through the loss of my child. I could have taken many directions but i chose to get help. Remember there is nothing to be ashamed about, they are there to help you. Be strong and take yourself there and get yourself sorted ok ? i wish you loads of luck ! I am now a counsellor and if you ever feel you need to let things out feel free to contact me on pollyrose3@hotmail.com
How can i find out more concerning forcing a person to receive medical care?
I know of someone who is mentally ill but because she still cares for herself (eats, and bathes) and hasnt tried to harm herself or anyone the courts won't allow her to be taken into medical custody. I know this person well enough to know this is not how she wants to live but the illness (bipolar) has control over her. Are there independent groups that help get past these legal red tape issues in order to truly get a person the help they need? If so who and what? You can email the info as well...
Answer:
Does she want help? Or is this something YOU want for her? You cannot force someone to get treatment unless they are a danger to themself or to others. Doesn't sound like it to me. If she wants help, contact her county's department of social services. If she has no insurance and is low income they will get her to the mental health department where she can see a doctor for either very little money or for free. Medications, too (if needed). If she doesn't want help (a lot of times people with mental illness think there is nothing wrong with them--that's part of the disease) there is nothing you can do. You can't force her.
You can call the county health department %26 tell them your concern, but there is no way to force the issue. To get that kind of assistance has to go through the court system.
The only way you can FORCE someone to get medical help is if they are a harm to themselves or someone else. You have already stated that this person is not. You can always continue to try and help her and perhaps that will influence her in wanting to seek out medical treatment. I wish the best for you and her~
with the best will in the world, you cant make someone get help unless they want to,the only way that you can get help is if there a danger to them self or others,try and persuade them to talk to their mental health team.
www.cchr.org
If she cares for herself and is no danger to herself or the community, why does she need care?
When she becomes unable to care for herself, or becomes dangerous, many communities have a law in place that can be invoked by a caregiver, police, or doctor to involuntarily commit a person--usually temporarily--for a period of crisis monitoring and care. You should find out about such a law in your community. In Florida, it is called The Baker Act. Before you try to have her confined under such a law, make sure that you understand the full import of the law in your community, and the full burden of proof that it requires.
On the Web..Go to: "Forced Mental Health Treatment"
Good Luck!
hey...I don't have an anwser for you, but a question, how are you able to update your questions? I am sorry for your friend and I hope that you are able to get the anwser you are seeking
You are co-dependent and need help as well. It is not normal to be obsessed with changing a person to accommodate what you feel they want to live like. I know someone like this as well. I got counseling and now I can appreciate how improving this part of my personality has actually helped the other person without THEM being expected to make any changes.
Answer:
Does she want help? Or is this something YOU want for her? You cannot force someone to get treatment unless they are a danger to themself or to others. Doesn't sound like it to me. If she wants help, contact her county's department of social services. If she has no insurance and is low income they will get her to the mental health department where she can see a doctor for either very little money or for free. Medications, too (if needed). If she doesn't want help (a lot of times people with mental illness think there is nothing wrong with them--that's part of the disease) there is nothing you can do. You can't force her.
You can call the county health department %26 tell them your concern, but there is no way to force the issue. To get that kind of assistance has to go through the court system.
The only way you can FORCE someone to get medical help is if they are a harm to themselves or someone else. You have already stated that this person is not. You can always continue to try and help her and perhaps that will influence her in wanting to seek out medical treatment. I wish the best for you and her~
with the best will in the world, you cant make someone get help unless they want to,the only way that you can get help is if there a danger to them self or others,try and persuade them to talk to their mental health team.
www.cchr.org
If she cares for herself and is no danger to herself or the community, why does she need care?
When she becomes unable to care for herself, or becomes dangerous, many communities have a law in place that can be invoked by a caregiver, police, or doctor to involuntarily commit a person--usually temporarily--for a period of crisis monitoring and care. You should find out about such a law in your community. In Florida, it is called The Baker Act. Before you try to have her confined under such a law, make sure that you understand the full import of the law in your community, and the full burden of proof that it requires.
On the Web..Go to: "Forced Mental Health Treatment"
Good Luck!
hey...I don't have an anwser for you, but a question, how are you able to update your questions? I am sorry for your friend and I hope that you are able to get the anwser you are seeking
You are co-dependent and need help as well. It is not normal to be obsessed with changing a person to accommodate what you feel they want to live like. I know someone like this as well. I got counseling and now I can appreciate how improving this part of my personality has actually helped the other person without THEM being expected to make any changes.
How can I find energy to work, take care of the kids and still be civilized? I seem to be beat all day long!?
I have three kids, work several "at home" jobs and have to stay up late to get everything done. I am a zombie and have not figured out how to manage my time, space, priorities yet. I need suggestions.
Answer:
Do you put water in your gas tank if you want your car to take you somewhere?
Start by eating healthier. It may sound too simple, or absurd, but people forget that we are biological organisms that didn't evolve by eating more preservatives. Your body needs good fuel to do good things. If you give your body crap to digest, it will use more energy to do so.
Stimulants like caffeine are only a 1 or 2 hour boost, and you crash immediately after. They also mess up your normal rythyms. Cavemen didn't drink coffee. Your body doesn't need caffeine.
After, focus on your stresses and eliminate them one by one. Don't start a project until the other is finished. Learn what makes you happy, and keep it close. Lose what you don't need, as they will bring you down in time by taking up your time.
Red Bull鈩?It gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings!
Answer:
Do you put water in your gas tank if you want your car to take you somewhere?
Start by eating healthier. It may sound too simple, or absurd, but people forget that we are biological organisms that didn't evolve by eating more preservatives. Your body needs good fuel to do good things. If you give your body crap to digest, it will use more energy to do so.
Stimulants like caffeine are only a 1 or 2 hour boost, and you crash immediately after. They also mess up your normal rythyms. Cavemen didn't drink coffee. Your body doesn't need caffeine.
After, focus on your stresses and eliminate them one by one. Don't start a project until the other is finished. Learn what makes you happy, and keep it close. Lose what you don't need, as they will bring you down in time by taking up your time.
Red Bull鈩?It gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings!
How can I find a way to sleep at night without some kind of medication?
I can never fall asleep at night, I lie in my bed for hours thinking about what happened that day, what will happen tomorrow, and what has happened in the past. I've tried to meditate before going to bed but it just doesn't work.
When I finally do get to bed, I wake up a few hours later and start my way of thinking all over again. Usually it's something sad that I end up thinking about.
The only way I can fall asleep is to picture myself lying there, breathing, while thinking "inhale, exhale" but still my mind wanders while picture that AND saying inhale exhale. How can I make myself fall to sleep?
Answer:
Exercise in the evenings between 5pm to 8pm. Exercising helps release endorphins in your blood. The blood carries endorphins to your brain.
Avoid caffeinated and energy drinks 4hours before bed because they linger for a long time in your blood stream. Energy drinks will remain in your blood for up to 8 hours and will prevent you from leeping. Caffeinated drinks are diuretics and will keep your kidney active, thus interfering with your sleep cycle, as you have to keep going to the toilet.
Eat at least 4 hours before your "usual" bedtime. 2 hours before bed take a warm glass of milk with a medium or small banana; this increases the secretion of serotonin and melatonin, which help give you a sense of well being/euphoria and help induce sleep.
Someone like you, who seems like an anxious person might also benefit from massages right before you sleep; ask your partner/lover to give you a massage. Also,you might want to consider eating fish at least 3 times a week or taking omega fish oil supplements. Fish or omega oil supplements help with moods--the whole mechanism is too complicated to explain here, however, it works; it may help your mood.
Tai chi is very good for people with anxiety/stress issues. In Tai Chi, you're taught compsure, how to maintain calmness and reduce stress. If you can't meditate, Tai Chi is the next best thing to relaxing yourself. You might want to enrol in some classes. Hope the tips help you.
Exercise vigorously for at least 1/2 hour per day during the day, no exceptions, but NOT AT NIGHT. Avoid ALL stimulants including caffeine, all day long. Create a bedtime ritual, that lasts at least 30 minutes, including brushing teeth, etc... Also 2 hours before bed limit all entertainment to reading. No computer or tv or phone calls.
sadly, I have a tendency to go through this little process quite often myself. What helps to take my mind off of everything sometimes is playing some really soothing music that i can sing or hum along to in the dark as i'm laying there trying to fall asleep. For some reason, the singing along gets my mind off of all the other incessant things going on in my life.
Another thing I've tried to do is write out a lot of how I feel right before i feel. Whether online or in a journal, I think that writing this kind of purges the mind of all the busy stuff that goes on in there, and doing this prior to laying down gets me pretty tired and clears my head.
hope you get some rest soon.
There are a few things that can help you sleep at night.
One of them is exercise. Are you getting enough exercise? If you are, your body should be tired when it's time to go to bed.
Are you eating sugary foods or anything with caffeine in it before bed? Too much sugar or caffeine in your system can keep you up.
Sometimes watching TV or working on the computer right before bed can keep us up. It is recommended to turn them off at least a half hour before bed.
One thing that can help you fall asleep is anything lavendar scent. I hear it calms the nerves. Bubble bath, lavendar oil on the pillow or lotion. breathe it in.
Good luck, sleepless!
Avoid sugars and caffine and naps, talk to your doctor, make a routine for eating, pottying, bedtime, wake up time, exercising and so on. Also if your bed isn't comfortable fix that.. My boyfriend got a new bed because of his back and he sleeps like a baby now.
Sounds like you might have a bit of anxeity-I'm deffinatly no doctor-but sounds like stress or something like that. Try venting, lowering your stress level, relax, sit in a warm bath surrounded by a lavender scent listening to soothing music or meditate instead of sitting in the tub.
Or perhaps you have a small unnoticable pain that wakes you up, maybe try some Tylonol PM it helps me, but take it about 2 hours before you plan on sleeping and be sure you can devote 7 hours to sleeping or its hard to get up and around.
And lastly, my grama "taught" me how to fall asleep. Lay in bed, get comfy, don't move at all. Count slowly to 1000. If you move start back at one. I think the highest I've ever got is about 19 lol
Good Luck and if you havn't yet I'd be sure to see a doctor about it if I were you
When I finally do get to bed, I wake up a few hours later and start my way of thinking all over again. Usually it's something sad that I end up thinking about.
The only way I can fall asleep is to picture myself lying there, breathing, while thinking "inhale, exhale" but still my mind wanders while picture that AND saying inhale exhale. How can I make myself fall to sleep?
Answer:
Exercise in the evenings between 5pm to 8pm. Exercising helps release endorphins in your blood. The blood carries endorphins to your brain.
Avoid caffeinated and energy drinks 4hours before bed because they linger for a long time in your blood stream. Energy drinks will remain in your blood for up to 8 hours and will prevent you from leeping. Caffeinated drinks are diuretics and will keep your kidney active, thus interfering with your sleep cycle, as you have to keep going to the toilet.
Eat at least 4 hours before your "usual" bedtime. 2 hours before bed take a warm glass of milk with a medium or small banana; this increases the secretion of serotonin and melatonin, which help give you a sense of well being/euphoria and help induce sleep.
Someone like you, who seems like an anxious person might also benefit from massages right before you sleep; ask your partner/lover to give you a massage. Also,you might want to consider eating fish at least 3 times a week or taking omega fish oil supplements. Fish or omega oil supplements help with moods--the whole mechanism is too complicated to explain here, however, it works; it may help your mood.
Tai chi is very good for people with anxiety/stress issues. In Tai Chi, you're taught compsure, how to maintain calmness and reduce stress. If you can't meditate, Tai Chi is the next best thing to relaxing yourself. You might want to enrol in some classes. Hope the tips help you.
Exercise vigorously for at least 1/2 hour per day during the day, no exceptions, but NOT AT NIGHT. Avoid ALL stimulants including caffeine, all day long. Create a bedtime ritual, that lasts at least 30 minutes, including brushing teeth, etc... Also 2 hours before bed limit all entertainment to reading. No computer or tv or phone calls.
sadly, I have a tendency to go through this little process quite often myself. What helps to take my mind off of everything sometimes is playing some really soothing music that i can sing or hum along to in the dark as i'm laying there trying to fall asleep. For some reason, the singing along gets my mind off of all the other incessant things going on in my life.
Another thing I've tried to do is write out a lot of how I feel right before i feel. Whether online or in a journal, I think that writing this kind of purges the mind of all the busy stuff that goes on in there, and doing this prior to laying down gets me pretty tired and clears my head.
hope you get some rest soon.
There are a few things that can help you sleep at night.
One of them is exercise. Are you getting enough exercise? If you are, your body should be tired when it's time to go to bed.
Are you eating sugary foods or anything with caffeine in it before bed? Too much sugar or caffeine in your system can keep you up.
Sometimes watching TV or working on the computer right before bed can keep us up. It is recommended to turn them off at least a half hour before bed.
One thing that can help you fall asleep is anything lavendar scent. I hear it calms the nerves. Bubble bath, lavendar oil on the pillow or lotion. breathe it in.
Good luck, sleepless!
Avoid sugars and caffine and naps, talk to your doctor, make a routine for eating, pottying, bedtime, wake up time, exercising and so on. Also if your bed isn't comfortable fix that.. My boyfriend got a new bed because of his back and he sleeps like a baby now.
Sounds like you might have a bit of anxeity-I'm deffinatly no doctor-but sounds like stress or something like that. Try venting, lowering your stress level, relax, sit in a warm bath surrounded by a lavender scent listening to soothing music or meditate instead of sitting in the tub.
Or perhaps you have a small unnoticable pain that wakes you up, maybe try some Tylonol PM it helps me, but take it about 2 hours before you plan on sleeping and be sure you can devote 7 hours to sleeping or its hard to get up and around.
And lastly, my grama "taught" me how to fall asleep. Lay in bed, get comfy, don't move at all. Count slowly to 1000. If you move start back at one. I think the highest I've ever got is about 19 lol
Good Luck and if you havn't yet I'd be sure to see a doctor about it if I were you
How can I face my mother??
I'm 20 years old and I have something like agoraphobia and emotional disorder,so I moved back to my mothers home because I was getting crazy.
Now that I live with my family (mother,half brother and step father who's nones real father) I'm staying all the time in my room and don't bother anyone but my mother insists to talk to me like I am a sick person and I really hate this. Basically I don't want her to talk to me at all and so I used to shout at her or to ignore her but she just can't understand! What can I do?
Answer:
Give her some literature on your disorder that explains your desire to be alone and not bothered. Maybe that will help.
Well, basically you are a sick person. You need help for your problem. Agoraphobia is a real problem and you need to start counseling immediately. Your mom loves you and wants to help you. By talking to you she is trying to ease you into a social status even it means starting to socialize with just one person at a time. Seek professional counseling immediately this is not only ruining your life, but the lives of those who love you.
Maybe she care about you.
How about getting professional help.
Take mom along so she can understand too.
you need to have respect for your mother %26 stop being such a little snot-face. Your mom cares about you %26 is concerned for your well being. If you have a problen with the way she talks to you then tell her, respectfully, like you would any human being. Do not shout at or ignore her. If you continue to do so then you're an ungrateful little brat %26 she should kick you out of the house!
You shouldn't shut out your mother. Allow her to help you. Or else, why bother to move back home if you don't want anything to do with her?
You need to seek help. Find a mental health professional in your area and work through your emotional and mental issues.
I am not saying this to hurt only to help. Get the help you need now before you put too many layers between yourself and those who wish to help you.
Good luck. Seek help today.
KK
Well your mother is concerned about you like any good mother would be. She may want to make sure you are not a threat to yourself or anyone else. Does she think you are sucidual. You can talk to her about it when the both of you are calm, and try not to be mean to her. Trying being her for a minute, if it was the other way around how would you feel and how would you react. It is also commendable that she is allowing you to live in her house, she could just allow you to be admitted into a psyche ward, and allow you to be medicated and lost to the system. Give your mom some slack, talk to her but be gentle and sensitive. She is your mother, she is human just like you are and she also has feelings as well. Think about her feelings and her wishes, and think about how you want her to relate and react to you, and try to consider her feelings about this, and talk to her gently. If you think you will shout, get a mature adult that will not be bias, and maybe they can serve as a mediator.
Good Luck
It sounds like your mom is trying to help you. If you don't want to change, that would be annoying. Shouting at her or ignoring her is rude. You're 20, so she doesn't really have an obligation to give you a room.
It sounds like you need to get some help. That can be frightening, but it's not going to go away on it's own. You can't expect to stay holed up at your mother's forever. You have to deal with it sooner or later. You need to go see a doctor and be referred to a counselor. Some of your problem may be a chemical imbalance. If that's the case, medication could help you. Why don't you ask your mother to help you make a doctor's appointment? It would be a step in the right direction and it would probably ease your mother's mind. No doubt she's worried about you. Get help. Life is too short to spend it being uncomfortable when you don't have to. Good luck.
For anyone who hasn't been in this situation, it is natural to resent help. Of course your mother doesn't understand and you should sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling. This will prevent conflict in the future. For those who have insulted him, nice compassion there - I hope someone is as thoughtful when you're not feeling great. Agoraphobia can't be fully understood by someone who hasn't been there and I know how awful it can feel.
Panic attacks are quite prevalent in imagining the worst scenario. Of course your are frightened. Fear is really anger. Forgive yourself and others. I hope you're family knows about your situation and is supporting you. Get out of that room and go outside for a few minutes. Enjoy the nature God has given us. When you get more Vitimin D from the sun, you will feel much better. Start when you do feel better by walking a little distance from home. Get a cassett playing and listen to your favorite music but not wired music that can hurt you.
God bless you and please try.
I used to stay all the time in my room when I was 20. My stepdad literally grabbed me and tossed me out the front door. He said don't come back until you get a job. I walked 5 miles and came back with a small job. That led me to biking to work every day. Then, when I had $1500 saved, I bought a 1979 Firebird. I found weights that somebody was throwing out. I took them home and used them. I read about vitamins and minerals. Then I got a cheap apartment... and life went on.
sit her down and talk to her and explain it to her. Or write it in a letter and give it to her. Even if it hurts. THe truth hurts.
Now that I live with my family (mother,half brother and step father who's nones real father) I'm staying all the time in my room and don't bother anyone but my mother insists to talk to me like I am a sick person and I really hate this. Basically I don't want her to talk to me at all and so I used to shout at her or to ignore her but she just can't understand! What can I do?
Answer:
Give her some literature on your disorder that explains your desire to be alone and not bothered. Maybe that will help.
Well, basically you are a sick person. You need help for your problem. Agoraphobia is a real problem and you need to start counseling immediately. Your mom loves you and wants to help you. By talking to you she is trying to ease you into a social status even it means starting to socialize with just one person at a time. Seek professional counseling immediately this is not only ruining your life, but the lives of those who love you.
Maybe she care about you.
How about getting professional help.
Take mom along so she can understand too.
you need to have respect for your mother %26 stop being such a little snot-face. Your mom cares about you %26 is concerned for your well being. If you have a problen with the way she talks to you then tell her, respectfully, like you would any human being. Do not shout at or ignore her. If you continue to do so then you're an ungrateful little brat %26 she should kick you out of the house!
You shouldn't shut out your mother. Allow her to help you. Or else, why bother to move back home if you don't want anything to do with her?
You need to seek help. Find a mental health professional in your area and work through your emotional and mental issues.
I am not saying this to hurt only to help. Get the help you need now before you put too many layers between yourself and those who wish to help you.
Good luck. Seek help today.
KK
Well your mother is concerned about you like any good mother would be. She may want to make sure you are not a threat to yourself or anyone else. Does she think you are sucidual. You can talk to her about it when the both of you are calm, and try not to be mean to her. Trying being her for a minute, if it was the other way around how would you feel and how would you react. It is also commendable that she is allowing you to live in her house, she could just allow you to be admitted into a psyche ward, and allow you to be medicated and lost to the system. Give your mom some slack, talk to her but be gentle and sensitive. She is your mother, she is human just like you are and she also has feelings as well. Think about her feelings and her wishes, and think about how you want her to relate and react to you, and try to consider her feelings about this, and talk to her gently. If you think you will shout, get a mature adult that will not be bias, and maybe they can serve as a mediator.
Good Luck
It sounds like your mom is trying to help you. If you don't want to change, that would be annoying. Shouting at her or ignoring her is rude. You're 20, so she doesn't really have an obligation to give you a room.
It sounds like you need to get some help. That can be frightening, but it's not going to go away on it's own. You can't expect to stay holed up at your mother's forever. You have to deal with it sooner or later. You need to go see a doctor and be referred to a counselor. Some of your problem may be a chemical imbalance. If that's the case, medication could help you. Why don't you ask your mother to help you make a doctor's appointment? It would be a step in the right direction and it would probably ease your mother's mind. No doubt she's worried about you. Get help. Life is too short to spend it being uncomfortable when you don't have to. Good luck.
For anyone who hasn't been in this situation, it is natural to resent help. Of course your mother doesn't understand and you should sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling. This will prevent conflict in the future. For those who have insulted him, nice compassion there - I hope someone is as thoughtful when you're not feeling great. Agoraphobia can't be fully understood by someone who hasn't been there and I know how awful it can feel.
Panic attacks are quite prevalent in imagining the worst scenario. Of course your are frightened. Fear is really anger. Forgive yourself and others. I hope you're family knows about your situation and is supporting you. Get out of that room and go outside for a few minutes. Enjoy the nature God has given us. When you get more Vitimin D from the sun, you will feel much better. Start when you do feel better by walking a little distance from home. Get a cassett playing and listen to your favorite music but not wired music that can hurt you.
God bless you and please try.
I used to stay all the time in my room when I was 20. My stepdad literally grabbed me and tossed me out the front door. He said don't come back until you get a job. I walked 5 miles and came back with a small job. That led me to biking to work every day. Then, when I had $1500 saved, I bought a 1979 Firebird. I found weights that somebody was throwing out. I took them home and used them. I read about vitamins and minerals. Then I got a cheap apartment... and life went on.
sit her down and talk to her and explain it to her. Or write it in a letter and give it to her. Even if it hurts. THe truth hurts.
How can I escape my depression and anxiety without drugs?
I just want drugs, anything to make me feel better. god I miss doing blow.
Answer:
If it's situational depression, you can probably get by with more or intense exercise and counseling. If it's clinical depression, you might need some medication to help for a while, but yes, it would indeed be good to resolve this without dependence on medications.
Apart from clinical depression, most depression is caused by 'putting your hope in the wrong place.' Talk to a counselor for direction, and have lunches with a friend who is willing to listen to you. If cost is an issue, local churches usually offer free counseling. Professional counselors are good too, but there is no need to see them for more than 2 years...then you are considered dependent on them.
Try counseling.
I was under the same situation now i know one of the best ways to make you feel good is relaxation .You really need to do that .Working out also is very useful ,plus try to avoid bad thoughts as much as you can ,or at least dont go to deep with them.try to dress up well and in lively colors .try to meet your good friends more often and talk to them.but let the drugs be the last thing you try ...
See http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on pages 2 %26 6, and www.drdrew.com Speaking from experience, the longer you go without it, the easier it gets, but keep occupied.
narconon.org
Answer:
If it's situational depression, you can probably get by with more or intense exercise and counseling. If it's clinical depression, you might need some medication to help for a while, but yes, it would indeed be good to resolve this without dependence on medications.
Apart from clinical depression, most depression is caused by 'putting your hope in the wrong place.' Talk to a counselor for direction, and have lunches with a friend who is willing to listen to you. If cost is an issue, local churches usually offer free counseling. Professional counselors are good too, but there is no need to see them for more than 2 years...then you are considered dependent on them.
Try counseling.
I was under the same situation now i know one of the best ways to make you feel good is relaxation .You really need to do that .Working out also is very useful ,plus try to avoid bad thoughts as much as you can ,or at least dont go to deep with them.try to dress up well and in lively colors .try to meet your good friends more often and talk to them.but let the drugs be the last thing you try ...
See http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on pages 2 %26 6, and www.drdrew.com Speaking from experience, the longer you go without it, the easier it gets, but keep occupied.
narconon.org
How can i eliminate the pressure and stress and calm myself whenever i take a test?
im 16. im usually an "A" student but whenever i take a quiz or test, i get "Cs"!! how can i eliminate this?
Answer:
The night before, go over everything that'll be on the test. Then go to sleep. That's the best way to remember what you'll be being tested on. When you wake up do these simple relaxation exercises: Starting at the top of your body, clench your jaw, then relax it. Do the same with your shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, buttocks, legs, and feet.. Get up and eat a good breakfast. There. You've done all you can do. If you start feeling anxious at school, do those relaxation exercises. They work. Good luck to you!! I'd love to hear how it went!!
call the md for a mild anti anxiety drug
Practice the homework more. The tests and quizes are usually similar to homework. If you do good and understand the homework, you should do fine on tests and quizes.
Try breathing... deep breath in... deep breath out.. i dont get nervous unless i know i havent gone over the things i learnt in class...and i dont understand it... but i dont get nervous... try the breathing stuff.. :D gud luk
i chew gum or have some other snack. i also just constrate on the paper not whats going around me.
square breathing
Lorazapam. The brand name is Ativan.
This is the basic med that Docs prescribe for anxiety. It will get you down fast. The sub lingual (under the tongue version works the fastest)
It works!
Just knowing that nothing important will happen and if happen its not important
Read a book and take a course on NLP. This will help you focus in when you need it most.
Answer:
The night before, go over everything that'll be on the test. Then go to sleep. That's the best way to remember what you'll be being tested on. When you wake up do these simple relaxation exercises: Starting at the top of your body, clench your jaw, then relax it. Do the same with your shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, buttocks, legs, and feet.. Get up and eat a good breakfast. There. You've done all you can do. If you start feeling anxious at school, do those relaxation exercises. They work. Good luck to you!! I'd love to hear how it went!!
call the md for a mild anti anxiety drug
Practice the homework more. The tests and quizes are usually similar to homework. If you do good and understand the homework, you should do fine on tests and quizes.
Try breathing... deep breath in... deep breath out.. i dont get nervous unless i know i havent gone over the things i learnt in class...and i dont understand it... but i dont get nervous... try the breathing stuff.. :D gud luk
i chew gum or have some other snack. i also just constrate on the paper not whats going around me.
square breathing
Lorazapam. The brand name is Ativan.
This is the basic med that Docs prescribe for anxiety. It will get you down fast. The sub lingual (under the tongue version works the fastest)
It works!
Just knowing that nothing important will happen and if happen its not important
Read a book and take a course on NLP. This will help you focus in when you need it most.
HOW CAN i ELIMINATE NEGATIVE STRESS??
there are so may things going on right now and i'm stressed what can i do to relax and really feel good about everything...??
Answer:
My experience has been to run. There is something about the breathing, sweating and the fact the jerks that create the stress are too lazy to run with me i can really be alone and at peace for the duration of my run. No cell phone. No questions, no paperwork... just me and myself and a little peace. Careful though exercise can be very addictive. watch your bathroom scale and be cautious not to over do it. You will be surprised how good it can make you feel about yourself and the world. Start with a walk build up to a jog before you know you will easily run 45 minutes at a time. Good luck to you- let the endorphins roll!
Here is a link to a page in an on-line booklet on that will give you several practical things you can do to lessen stress and feel less threatened or overwhelmed in your environment.
http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/lesse...
Feel better!
Answer:
My experience has been to run. There is something about the breathing, sweating and the fact the jerks that create the stress are too lazy to run with me i can really be alone and at peace for the duration of my run. No cell phone. No questions, no paperwork... just me and myself and a little peace. Careful though exercise can be very addictive. watch your bathroom scale and be cautious not to over do it. You will be surprised how good it can make you feel about yourself and the world. Start with a walk build up to a jog before you know you will easily run 45 minutes at a time. Good luck to you- let the endorphins roll!
Here is a link to a page in an on-line booklet on that will give you several practical things you can do to lessen stress and feel less threatened or overwhelmed in your environment.
http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/lesse...
Feel better!
How can i educate my partner about my depression without scaring him?
I feel like he thinks that suffering from depression is some decision I've made that I can just snap out of. He gets frustrated when I cry for any reason and acts as if I'm being impolite or simply seeking attention. He gets pouty and says "I don't like it when you cry". As if that's going to change anything? He has never been close to anyone with depression (or anyone with any sorts of problems whatsoever it sometimes seems) so he spends a lot of time in denial about problems people face. Are there any good websites about depression that are geared towards people in a relationship with a depressed person? I want him to understand that my depression isn't just "in my head" but I also don't want to scare him away. In the past it seemed like he was giving me an ultimatum. As if to say "give up this depression act or you'll lose me". I've tried to tell him about it before but it's as if he doesn't want to believe me. I hope he'll be more open to information from an offical source.
Answer:
I am currently suffering with depression and had to tell my partner how I was feeling and what I was going through.
Basically, all I did was sit him down and say to him that I was feeling really down in myself and that although I knew that he hadn't any experience with anyone close to him having depression, I would try to explain it to him as best I could.
I think the best way is to be frank, open and honest without being patronising. Tell him that while you know it is hard for him to see you this way, it is equally hard for you to have these thoughts and emotions that you don't really understand yourself and sometimes can't control.
Although websites are an invaluable source of information, they tend towards the generic, which may not be too helpful for your partner, as everyone suffers depression differently.
You could also try keeping a diary and allowing him access to it. This way, when you are having a "bad" day, you can write down everything that is going on inside your head and let him see it in black and white. Also, write in it when you're having a "not so bad" day and your partner can see the difference in mood and emotions.
I hope this helps a little, I know it isn't easy, especially if your partner is showing signs of frustration or negativity towards you or your depression. You could always try telling him that sometimes his attitude towards how you are feeling doesn't help and that you need him to be there for you and that you're trying to help him understand you and where you're coming from.
This is a wrong time to discuss your depression with anyone except your counselor - the Virginia Tech shooter was suffering from depression.
Do you think keeping him as your partner is really healthy right now? He sounds unfeeling and cold-- not exactly the type of person to help you with your healing. If you feel he's giving you an ultimatum, I think it's time to dump him and focus on getting well.
type in living with deppression, on you home page..but too me it sounds like your partener has problems of his own ?. good luck
depression is an illness. when he gets a cold, flu or toothache ,tell him to snap out of it. when he fails he might understand what you mean. in the meantime he should be made to realise what your situation is. you need his support. i hope you get it
He sounds like a very cold unfeeling person. I hate to say it, but I don't think you'll get anywhere with him, he clearly doesn't want to understand what you're going through. As someone above said, if it was a broken leg, or the flu, he'd be understanding, but because it's something emotional he's reacting like you're putting it on, which is basically victimising you for your illness.
What you need to show him is this perhaps
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
which is an online booklet about depression. Also, try and explain to him that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes these symptoms. Other chemical imbalances can causes stuff such as schizophrenia and psychotic episodes, which you could also show him. He sounds like he's led an extremey sheltered and a little callous life so far.
If I were you, I'd find another man, can you imagine the attitudes your children would grow up with if he carries on like this?
He should know you well enough to know that you are not faking. But, give him a chance and inform him with "depression" information. Tell him to let you convince him about it once. Google info about deppressive disorders, read them and pick out the ones you think best fits you. Let him read it. By then he still doesnt believe you, then forget him. YOu have anough problems to deal with, he should be the one that stands beside you to help you cope through it, not give you more problems. You should be taking anti depressive meds, bring him along on one of your appointments to let the professional explain to him about it.
I feel for you, you are struggling to cope with an illness that can be debilitating and unfortunately haven't got support from the person closest to you.
Please visit the Mind website, it offers great information, in an easy to read and understand format. I've given a few links below to information that I think will help both of you,
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
but please take time to look around the website as there is loads of good information and advice.
Also use the link below
http://www.mind.org.uk/mind+in+your+area...
to find out where your nearest local Mind association is.
They offer support, advice and information to anyone who is suffering, but also to carers as well. They may have a carers support group, or will be able to direct you to one nearby.
Unfortunately mental illness is still widely misunderstood and many people view it as something to wary of, or totally deny that it is a real illness.
In fact, 1 in 4 people will suffer from some form of mental illness at some point in there life:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/157875...
http://education.guardian.co.uk/print/0,...
http://www.changes.org.uk/html/changes_-...
Maybe showing your partner some of the headlines surrounding this issue will help him to understand that it is a reall illness and one that needs treating seriously.
I hope that the information I have recommended helps you to encourage your partner to see that his view is not correct.
You deserve and need to receive support and treatment so that you can start to rebuild your life and begin to cope again.
Having a loving and understanding partner will make so much difference.
But remember that both of you do not have to do this alone, there is excellent help out there and available, if you know where to look for it.
I strongly advise that you contact your local Mind, all it takes is a phone call. You can refer yourself, and you can either go alone, or take your partner with you. They will be able to offer you support and help on a wide range of things that will help.
You need and deserve treatment that is right for you, medication and other medical approaches can be accessed through your GP, and these are valid and useful tools, but remember that you have a right in how you are treated, and that is where Mind will come in. Their services are centred around what you want and how you feel support will best benefit you.
Please remember that it is possible to start a journey of recovery, it will be hard work and there will be relapses on the way, but it is well worth the effort.
I hope that you can help your partner to better understand the illness that you suffer from, and that he will, with time, come to realise that you are not making any of it up, and that you need treatment and understanding.
Good luck to you and to your partner too.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, your partner just needs someone to shine a light to guide him towards it.
theres a good website about depression.www.depression.o...
It tells you the symptoms, warning signs, the effects it has on people, a summary of what depression is and lots more things. you should check it out it should give you all the info that you need to educate ur partner.
Good Luck : )
Answer:
I am currently suffering with depression and had to tell my partner how I was feeling and what I was going through.
Basically, all I did was sit him down and say to him that I was feeling really down in myself and that although I knew that he hadn't any experience with anyone close to him having depression, I would try to explain it to him as best I could.
I think the best way is to be frank, open and honest without being patronising. Tell him that while you know it is hard for him to see you this way, it is equally hard for you to have these thoughts and emotions that you don't really understand yourself and sometimes can't control.
Although websites are an invaluable source of information, they tend towards the generic, which may not be too helpful for your partner, as everyone suffers depression differently.
You could also try keeping a diary and allowing him access to it. This way, when you are having a "bad" day, you can write down everything that is going on inside your head and let him see it in black and white. Also, write in it when you're having a "not so bad" day and your partner can see the difference in mood and emotions.
I hope this helps a little, I know it isn't easy, especially if your partner is showing signs of frustration or negativity towards you or your depression. You could always try telling him that sometimes his attitude towards how you are feeling doesn't help and that you need him to be there for you and that you're trying to help him understand you and where you're coming from.
This is a wrong time to discuss your depression with anyone except your counselor - the Virginia Tech shooter was suffering from depression.
Do you think keeping him as your partner is really healthy right now? He sounds unfeeling and cold-- not exactly the type of person to help you with your healing. If you feel he's giving you an ultimatum, I think it's time to dump him and focus on getting well.
type in living with deppression, on you home page..but too me it sounds like your partener has problems of his own ?. good luck
depression is an illness. when he gets a cold, flu or toothache ,tell him to snap out of it. when he fails he might understand what you mean. in the meantime he should be made to realise what your situation is. you need his support. i hope you get it
He sounds like a very cold unfeeling person. I hate to say it, but I don't think you'll get anywhere with him, he clearly doesn't want to understand what you're going through. As someone above said, if it was a broken leg, or the flu, he'd be understanding, but because it's something emotional he's reacting like you're putting it on, which is basically victimising you for your illness.
What you need to show him is this perhaps
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
which is an online booklet about depression. Also, try and explain to him that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes these symptoms. Other chemical imbalances can causes stuff such as schizophrenia and psychotic episodes, which you could also show him. He sounds like he's led an extremey sheltered and a little callous life so far.
If I were you, I'd find another man, can you imagine the attitudes your children would grow up with if he carries on like this?
He should know you well enough to know that you are not faking. But, give him a chance and inform him with "depression" information. Tell him to let you convince him about it once. Google info about deppressive disorders, read them and pick out the ones you think best fits you. Let him read it. By then he still doesnt believe you, then forget him. YOu have anough problems to deal with, he should be the one that stands beside you to help you cope through it, not give you more problems. You should be taking anti depressive meds, bring him along on one of your appointments to let the professional explain to him about it.
I feel for you, you are struggling to cope with an illness that can be debilitating and unfortunately haven't got support from the person closest to you.
Please visit the Mind website, it offers great information, in an easy to read and understand format. I've given a few links below to information that I think will help both of you,
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
but please take time to look around the website as there is loads of good information and advice.
Also use the link below
http://www.mind.org.uk/mind+in+your+area...
to find out where your nearest local Mind association is.
They offer support, advice and information to anyone who is suffering, but also to carers as well. They may have a carers support group, or will be able to direct you to one nearby.
Unfortunately mental illness is still widely misunderstood and many people view it as something to wary of, or totally deny that it is a real illness.
In fact, 1 in 4 people will suffer from some form of mental illness at some point in there life:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/157875...
http://education.guardian.co.uk/print/0,...
http://www.changes.org.uk/html/changes_-...
Maybe showing your partner some of the headlines surrounding this issue will help him to understand that it is a reall illness and one that needs treating seriously.
I hope that the information I have recommended helps you to encourage your partner to see that his view is not correct.
You deserve and need to receive support and treatment so that you can start to rebuild your life and begin to cope again.
Having a loving and understanding partner will make so much difference.
But remember that both of you do not have to do this alone, there is excellent help out there and available, if you know where to look for it.
I strongly advise that you contact your local Mind, all it takes is a phone call. You can refer yourself, and you can either go alone, or take your partner with you. They will be able to offer you support and help on a wide range of things that will help.
You need and deserve treatment that is right for you, medication and other medical approaches can be accessed through your GP, and these are valid and useful tools, but remember that you have a right in how you are treated, and that is where Mind will come in. Their services are centred around what you want and how you feel support will best benefit you.
Please remember that it is possible to start a journey of recovery, it will be hard work and there will be relapses on the way, but it is well worth the effort.
I hope that you can help your partner to better understand the illness that you suffer from, and that he will, with time, come to realise that you are not making any of it up, and that you need treatment and understanding.
Good luck to you and to your partner too.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, your partner just needs someone to shine a light to guide him towards it.
theres a good website about depression.www.depression.o...
It tells you the symptoms, warning signs, the effects it has on people, a summary of what depression is and lots more things. you should check it out it should give you all the info that you need to educate ur partner.
Good Luck : )
How can I discipline myself?
I feel that I have no disclipline of whatsoever and its getting to make me feel sick
Answer:
By setting up goals that you believe in and want to accomplish. Create baby steps that you have to follow to achieve your goals. Remind yourself constantly what your goals are and WHY they are your goals. Whenever you are doing anything, especially something that you don't think is right, or you are feeling sick from, ask yourself, "Is this behavior in line with my goals? Is it helping me reach my goals? Is it good for me?" etc.
Depends on what you need discipline on. Being a rebel is cool. Acept who you are!
Look at a picture of Rosie O'Donnnell and let that be the consequence of failure!
set up rules for yourself that you have to keep.its all about self control and how much you want to discipline yourself.
Answer:
By setting up goals that you believe in and want to accomplish. Create baby steps that you have to follow to achieve your goals. Remind yourself constantly what your goals are and WHY they are your goals. Whenever you are doing anything, especially something that you don't think is right, or you are feeling sick from, ask yourself, "Is this behavior in line with my goals? Is it helping me reach my goals? Is it good for me?" etc.
Depends on what you need discipline on. Being a rebel is cool. Acept who you are!
Look at a picture of Rosie O'Donnnell and let that be the consequence of failure!
set up rules for yourself that you have to keep.its all about self control and how much you want to discipline yourself.
How can I delete my identity from facebook? Am I paranoid? Irrational?
How can I delete my identity from facebook? Am I paranoid? Irrational?
I just signed up for facebook because people keep asking me why i don't have an account. In high school, there were a lot of people who hated me, so I'm afraid that they will torture me through face book. I'm afraid of th memories. It makes me greatly uncomfortable. Does everyone have a facebook account? I don't want anyone to know who I am. I'm afraid they will hurt me emotionally.
How can I delete it!! I think I'm going to get a heart attack at my age!
Answer:
Hi I felt like that when I first signed up to friends reunited as I went through hell in school but one people get older and they don't care about picking on your like they used too. Plus abuse is normally not tolerated by these kinds of sites and the person can and normal will be removed if they start abusing the system. Please don't be scared of letting the world back into your life.
I've got a Facebook account. It is safe. You can say who you want to see your profile, and if they do send you notes, you can report them and have them banned from Facebook. However, if you still don't feel safe, but deactivate your account, then everything will be deleted. You won't get any more e-mails or anything. If you go to the "Help" section of it, it can tell you how to deactivate.
I just signed up for facebook because people keep asking me why i don't have an account. In high school, there were a lot of people who hated me, so I'm afraid that they will torture me through face book. I'm afraid of th memories. It makes me greatly uncomfortable. Does everyone have a facebook account? I don't want anyone to know who I am. I'm afraid they will hurt me emotionally.
How can I delete it!! I think I'm going to get a heart attack at my age!
Answer:
Hi I felt like that when I first signed up to friends reunited as I went through hell in school but one people get older and they don't care about picking on your like they used too. Plus abuse is normally not tolerated by these kinds of sites and the person can and normal will be removed if they start abusing the system. Please don't be scared of letting the world back into your life.
I've got a Facebook account. It is safe. You can say who you want to see your profile, and if they do send you notes, you can report them and have them banned from Facebook. However, if you still don't feel safe, but deactivate your account, then everything will be deleted. You won't get any more e-mails or anything. If you go to the "Help" section of it, it can tell you how to deactivate.
How can I deal with this sadness?
How do people deal with infertility...How do you deal with the fact that you will never be a mom...You will never be able to go through a pregnancy and go throught the giving birth prosess...Can some one tell me how is it possible to deal with all this sadness...I am 24 and everyone says that I have my life a head of me...But what I have always wanted is a family and its the only thing I can't have...I am really upset I don't even feel like talking to anyone. All I want to do is sleep and never wake up...I need advice of people that are going through the same situation. I don't need stupid remarks not right now
Answer:
When others don't know what to say, they generalize or try to make you "look at the bright side"...
You deserve a period of mourning, but you cannot stay in that forever. Talking to someone who is also in the same situation as you will certainly help. Support groups are bound to be out there and I would recommend looking into just that.
You can have a family, just not in the way you see as conventional. You get to choose your family... and as I see it, this is probably more special and selfless than anything you could ever do...
Yes, you are young, and your priorities may change over time, but right now you are sad and for good reason. Embrace it, mourn it and let go... You will be a strong person and an incredible parent someday. YES, you will. if you so choose... right?
My thoughts are with you :)
Realize that although this sucks, and doesn't necesarily fit into your life plans, that life goes on. Whether or not you believe that everything happens for a reason (I do) realize that this did happen and there is no point in letting it eat you up inside.
By all means grieve, it's healthy. Be sad for the children you will never concieve but don't let it destroy you. Be strong. There are very many children out there who were not fortunate to be born to parents as good as you know you can be. You can become a foster parent, or you can adopt. Adopting a child can be one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. You will love those children as if they were your own flesh and blood.
Well... look for groups in your areas where you can talk to other people with the same problem about it... Its best to talk to people who know and understand what you are going through...
just keep talking and go to the Doctor about it and see if there are things you can do to enhance your chances of concieving...
Good luck and God bless.
Please say thank you for what you have and try to help the children that don't have a mother,; there are things that we cannot understand but it's better if we say:"thank you God!"When I was 24 I didn't want to have children...few years later things changed...let's always say " GOD, Your will it's better than mine!"...please read God's Word, the Psalms, 1Corinthians 13. Have you ever read about JESUS PRAYER? If you want to read about go here, it will help you!
http://www.svots.edu/faculty/albert-ross...
Take good care of your soul reading good, healthy Words!
May God help with what you need best!
Have a good day!
Answer:
When others don't know what to say, they generalize or try to make you "look at the bright side"...
You deserve a period of mourning, but you cannot stay in that forever. Talking to someone who is also in the same situation as you will certainly help. Support groups are bound to be out there and I would recommend looking into just that.
You can have a family, just not in the way you see as conventional. You get to choose your family... and as I see it, this is probably more special and selfless than anything you could ever do...
Yes, you are young, and your priorities may change over time, but right now you are sad and for good reason. Embrace it, mourn it and let go... You will be a strong person and an incredible parent someday. YES, you will. if you so choose... right?
My thoughts are with you :)
Realize that although this sucks, and doesn't necesarily fit into your life plans, that life goes on. Whether or not you believe that everything happens for a reason (I do) realize that this did happen and there is no point in letting it eat you up inside.
By all means grieve, it's healthy. Be sad for the children you will never concieve but don't let it destroy you. Be strong. There are very many children out there who were not fortunate to be born to parents as good as you know you can be. You can become a foster parent, or you can adopt. Adopting a child can be one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have. You will love those children as if they were your own flesh and blood.
Well... look for groups in your areas where you can talk to other people with the same problem about it... Its best to talk to people who know and understand what you are going through...
just keep talking and go to the Doctor about it and see if there are things you can do to enhance your chances of concieving...
Good luck and God bless.
Please say thank you for what you have and try to help the children that don't have a mother,; there are things that we cannot understand but it's better if we say:"thank you God!"When I was 24 I didn't want to have children...few years later things changed...let's always say " GOD, Your will it's better than mine!"...please read God's Word, the Psalms, 1Corinthians 13. Have you ever read about JESUS PRAYER? If you want to read about go here, it will help you!
http://www.svots.edu/faculty/albert-ross...
Take good care of your soul reading good, healthy Words!
May God help with what you need best!
Have a good day!
How can I deal with this depression?
I have been dealing with depression since I was a teenager. However, it is very bad right now because I am out of work. I really feel out of sorts, Michigan has very little professional positions where I live and moving is not an option. Any ideas to increase my self worth?
Answer:
Therapy could help, you can probally find it free or low cost through your citys health department. I would try getting out for little walks(even though you might not want to) and eating very healthy whole foods in the mean time. Be kind to yourself, keep up the job search. Set small achievable goals each day. Consider a job out of your field, just to keep earning and feeling productive. Good luck.
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h51worth.
http://laurajames.mentoringforfree.com...
first of all you gotta know WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED, after that, it gets easier,because if you know the problem you know how to fix it.. right?
if that doesn't work, get prefessional help... you can see a psychologist... which works very good in this kinda cases
so... good luck with that
bye
Get to a Dr at the local community mental health clinic and ask them to help you to get on some depression meds. Ask for samples. They usually have some. Also go to a website called needymeds.com and look up the medicine the Dr prescribes and you will find the ways to get the meds for free
from the manufacturing.
Hang tough. It took guts for you to ask for help. Keep on keeping on!
God loves you. Ask him for help
Are you on medication? if not go and see your doctor - you might need a mild pick me up.
Go out walking when you can - get up early everyday - do not mope around the house/apartment
Keep telling yourself that you are worth something - positive thinking will help when applying for jobs
P.S. you are not drinking are you - it is a depressive.
Hope this helps a little - Good Luck to you
May be taking a course and getting a new trade will help.But see your doctor about your depression.I am on ant depression pills and thank God for them it helps me to cope and feel human again
If you have been dealing with depression since your teen years it's very possible that it has less to do with your situation and more to do with a chronic condition. Everyone gets "down" or feels "blue" over life's normal disappointments. Dealing with true depression for a long time is something a doctor should be helping you with. Group therapy is a good start to helping with the self worth issue. Talking to peers who have similar feelings really helps. Knowing that you're helping them as they help you is rewarding and helps establish new connections with people who truly understand how difficult depression can be.
I'm in the same boat. i've got bi-polar depression. you've got to keep at it until you find that job you want. there may not be that many, but you have to make youself stand out. as far as feeling out of it, you have to force youself to stay in a daily routine. stay out of the bedroom during the day.make sure youre getting up at a regular time.try exersizing. like taking a walk around the nieborhood. i grew up in minnesota, it's beautiful country up there. think positive. hope that helps.
See here and have your answar to depression http://dianetics.bridgeinc.us/pages/what...
Answer:
Therapy could help, you can probally find it free or low cost through your citys health department. I would try getting out for little walks(even though you might not want to) and eating very healthy whole foods in the mean time. Be kind to yourself, keep up the job search. Set small achievable goals each day. Consider a job out of your field, just to keep earning and feeling productive. Good luck.
http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h51worth.
http://laurajames.mentoringforfree.com...
first of all you gotta know WHY ARE YOU SO DEPRESSED, after that, it gets easier,because if you know the problem you know how to fix it.. right?
if that doesn't work, get prefessional help... you can see a psychologist... which works very good in this kinda cases
so... good luck with that
bye
Get to a Dr at the local community mental health clinic and ask them to help you to get on some depression meds. Ask for samples. They usually have some. Also go to a website called needymeds.com and look up the medicine the Dr prescribes and you will find the ways to get the meds for free
from the manufacturing.
Hang tough. It took guts for you to ask for help. Keep on keeping on!
God loves you. Ask him for help
Are you on medication? if not go and see your doctor - you might need a mild pick me up.
Go out walking when you can - get up early everyday - do not mope around the house/apartment
Keep telling yourself that you are worth something - positive thinking will help when applying for jobs
P.S. you are not drinking are you - it is a depressive.
Hope this helps a little - Good Luck to you
May be taking a course and getting a new trade will help.But see your doctor about your depression.I am on ant depression pills and thank God for them it helps me to cope and feel human again
If you have been dealing with depression since your teen years it's very possible that it has less to do with your situation and more to do with a chronic condition. Everyone gets "down" or feels "blue" over life's normal disappointments. Dealing with true depression for a long time is something a doctor should be helping you with. Group therapy is a good start to helping with the self worth issue. Talking to peers who have similar feelings really helps. Knowing that you're helping them as they help you is rewarding and helps establish new connections with people who truly understand how difficult depression can be.
I'm in the same boat. i've got bi-polar depression. you've got to keep at it until you find that job you want. there may not be that many, but you have to make youself stand out. as far as feeling out of it, you have to force youself to stay in a daily routine. stay out of the bedroom during the day.make sure youre getting up at a regular time.try exersizing. like taking a walk around the nieborhood. i grew up in minnesota, it's beautiful country up there. think positive. hope that helps.
See here and have your answar to depression http://dianetics.bridgeinc.us/pages/what...
How can I deal with guilt?
I have three teenagers and everytime they go thru a difficult time, like failing a class or just being sick, I feel so guilty and disgusted about myself, to the point where I start feeling depressed and sad. I feel like a failure as a mother. Is this normal or am I suffering from a mental problem? I was a single mom until they reached teenage years.
Answer:
hi there, im sorry about the sickness in your family, believe me I know how that is and it can weigh on everyone emotionally too, as well as physically. Just know that you have nothing to feel guilty for, and you are not a failure. It's got to be hard to have the responsibility of raising three kids all on your own, and dealing with heath struggles too.
If they fail a class, they probably feel just as bad as you do, so do your best to just give them a hug and smile and let them know it is ok and maybe if they need some extra help with a class, then that could be worked out.
Difficult times are always going to arise, believe me, we've had ups and downs in our family too, and now that they've moved into the teenage years (it sounds like you may have some help now? i hope so) then family communication and unity with everyone working towards the same things is going to be important.
Try and take a few minutes for yourself each day too, just to either cool off, destress, and regroup. This can even just be in your own room, laying in bed with some soft music for 5-10 minutes.
You kids need you and it sounds like you all have stuck together as a pretty good team so far, if they are sad because they failed a class, give them a hug (haha if hey let you hug them!) and just know there is always tomorrow and there is the next class that maybe everyone can pitch in to help so they can do better next time.
@--%26gt;-----------
Figure out what you feel guilty about. There is always a choice to be made when you are feeling guilty.
Face your guilt. Don't block it out; it will only make it worse. Arrange a time of the day to just think about it. Could you have made a better choice? How can you fix it? Spend as much time as it takes to confront the guilt. You will know it when it's done. Don't turn on the TV or computer. Everyone faces their own guilt a different way, so do it your way.
After you think about it, choose a course of action. Do you want to apologize to the person who you offended? Do you want to confess to the person exactly what you did? If you followed step two correctly, you will know what to do.
As a mother, it is our nature to feel this way when we feel our children fail. Even though we want to, we cant do everything. All I can say is to teach ur children the best that u can and help them w/ all you can and know that u have done ur job. Do U feel guilty because you feel you haven't did all u can? Especially being a single parent sometimes u feel more guilty than some. U must understand that part of ur children growing and learning is that their going to fall and must learn to get up on their own. Hope this helps a little...
I do the same thing!
The reason the we feel guilty is because we hold beliefs that we should be able to be "super moms".
You know, be there at all times, for everything and not miss a beat.
When things start to go wrong, or seem like they are going wrong, we feel like failures because we, as moms, are the glue that is suppose to "keep it all together".
But, and this is a big but, these expectations are unrealistic. They are too much, and we are doomed for failure.
It is important to evaluated our personal constructs, values, goals and expectations and make them attainable.
Do this, and you will lessen the amount of guilt you feel.
You have to understand that as a parent you make mistakes, but you have raised your children as well as you can. Now they are becoming responsible for their own actions. Even an almost perfect parent can end up having kids with real problems. Guilt is a poison that you can only get rid of by changing your mind set. Whether that means you see a counselor to help you deal with your emotions or whether you have enough will power to stop those negative thoughts about your parenting, that is up to you. Stop and think about the truth when you are faced with the lie of guilt. Replace that negative thought with what is true.
Let yourself be human. Your guilt sounds like it is for things that aren't really your fault. Let your child know that you love them, help them with schoolwork and make it important. When they are sick be there for them as much as possible.
Being depressed and sad when your kids hurt isn't abnormal at all. It is terrible to see bad things happen to the ones we love, but we can't fix the whole world. All we can do is be there at their side and let them know that they have someone in their corner.
Also realize that it is in the parent/child dynamic that you may not be appreciated for many years. Your job is to help them grow to adults and it is the hardest job there is in the world. You are going to make mistakes. Learn from the past but don't live in it. Your mistakes will help you to be better in the future.
I don't think you have a mental problem at all, but it might not be silly to see a counselor to learn how to better cope with it when you start feeling that way. At the very least it will be someone to talk to that may give you some suggestions and affirm what you are doing is right, maybe point out ways to better do what you want to do.
Guilt is not living up to your expectations of yourself.
You have no control over what grades your children get, whether or not they have diabetes or asthma.
Once you accept the fact that you are not in control and some higher authority is, you will stop feeling guilty.
Been there.
Answer:
hi there, im sorry about the sickness in your family, believe me I know how that is and it can weigh on everyone emotionally too, as well as physically. Just know that you have nothing to feel guilty for, and you are not a failure. It's got to be hard to have the responsibility of raising three kids all on your own, and dealing with heath struggles too.
If they fail a class, they probably feel just as bad as you do, so do your best to just give them a hug and smile and let them know it is ok and maybe if they need some extra help with a class, then that could be worked out.
Difficult times are always going to arise, believe me, we've had ups and downs in our family too, and now that they've moved into the teenage years (it sounds like you may have some help now? i hope so) then family communication and unity with everyone working towards the same things is going to be important.
Try and take a few minutes for yourself each day too, just to either cool off, destress, and regroup. This can even just be in your own room, laying in bed with some soft music for 5-10 minutes.
You kids need you and it sounds like you all have stuck together as a pretty good team so far, if they are sad because they failed a class, give them a hug (haha if hey let you hug them!) and just know there is always tomorrow and there is the next class that maybe everyone can pitch in to help so they can do better next time.
@--%26gt;-----------
Figure out what you feel guilty about. There is always a choice to be made when you are feeling guilty.
Face your guilt. Don't block it out; it will only make it worse. Arrange a time of the day to just think about it. Could you have made a better choice? How can you fix it? Spend as much time as it takes to confront the guilt. You will know it when it's done. Don't turn on the TV or computer. Everyone faces their own guilt a different way, so do it your way.
After you think about it, choose a course of action. Do you want to apologize to the person who you offended? Do you want to confess to the person exactly what you did? If you followed step two correctly, you will know what to do.
As a mother, it is our nature to feel this way when we feel our children fail. Even though we want to, we cant do everything. All I can say is to teach ur children the best that u can and help them w/ all you can and know that u have done ur job. Do U feel guilty because you feel you haven't did all u can? Especially being a single parent sometimes u feel more guilty than some. U must understand that part of ur children growing and learning is that their going to fall and must learn to get up on their own. Hope this helps a little...
I do the same thing!
The reason the we feel guilty is because we hold beliefs that we should be able to be "super moms".
You know, be there at all times, for everything and not miss a beat.
When things start to go wrong, or seem like they are going wrong, we feel like failures because we, as moms, are the glue that is suppose to "keep it all together".
But, and this is a big but, these expectations are unrealistic. They are too much, and we are doomed for failure.
It is important to evaluated our personal constructs, values, goals and expectations and make them attainable.
Do this, and you will lessen the amount of guilt you feel.
You have to understand that as a parent you make mistakes, but you have raised your children as well as you can. Now they are becoming responsible for their own actions. Even an almost perfect parent can end up having kids with real problems. Guilt is a poison that you can only get rid of by changing your mind set. Whether that means you see a counselor to help you deal with your emotions or whether you have enough will power to stop those negative thoughts about your parenting, that is up to you. Stop and think about the truth when you are faced with the lie of guilt. Replace that negative thought with what is true.
Let yourself be human. Your guilt sounds like it is for things that aren't really your fault. Let your child know that you love them, help them with schoolwork and make it important. When they are sick be there for them as much as possible.
Being depressed and sad when your kids hurt isn't abnormal at all. It is terrible to see bad things happen to the ones we love, but we can't fix the whole world. All we can do is be there at their side and let them know that they have someone in their corner.
Also realize that it is in the parent/child dynamic that you may not be appreciated for many years. Your job is to help them grow to adults and it is the hardest job there is in the world. You are going to make mistakes. Learn from the past but don't live in it. Your mistakes will help you to be better in the future.
I don't think you have a mental problem at all, but it might not be silly to see a counselor to learn how to better cope with it when you start feeling that way. At the very least it will be someone to talk to that may give you some suggestions and affirm what you are doing is right, maybe point out ways to better do what you want to do.
Guilt is not living up to your expectations of yourself.
You have no control over what grades your children get, whether or not they have diabetes or asthma.
Once you accept the fact that you are not in control and some higher authority is, you will stop feeling guilty.
Been there.
How can i deal with anger at school and not show that i am not angery?
I am thirteen years old and i am in eighth grade. i get so mad at people a lot of the time. i could just be sitting there and just the sound of some peoples voices can irritate the hell out of me. (even if it is my bf) please give me examples and HELP for this problem and HOW to deal with it!!!!
Answer:
I have a friend that use to be like that anything could set her off.. So we tried a few things. 1.) Instead of cussing we would use fruit.. Like OH STRAWBERRIES! 2.) When she started to feel up set she would think of something stupid that I had done then she would laugh. C.) Another thing she would do is draw silly pictures to keep her mind off the people who annoy her. These were all just little things to help keep her temper down, I hope they work for you.
listen to you iPod. try to listen to music that would clam you down...
Take some deep breaths and think to yourself, "well they are annoying, but what is getting angry going to do? Make them feel bad about themselves and get me into trouble and it's not going to change their behavour." Take a few more deep breaths and as soon as you can remove yourself from the situation to be alone even if just for a few minutes.
ok. well i guess it's good that your at least not keeping your anger IN, since it'll keep collecting, and eventually you'll crack anyway and blow up all at once (i know from experience, except i gathered anger up for 6 years and now i'm going insane. XP). So yea, at least your letting it out. But if you really think you have a problem, it's probably because your lack of patience. You can't stand the smallest things apparently, so just try practicing patience until you don't even notice those small things. I'm no yoga/therapist instructor, but i think these exercises might help:
1. Try asking someone to talk to you for like 1 minute straight, then 5 minutes, then 10minites, and so on, until you think you can handle people. Make sure you ONLY listen, and that you can handle the first increment before you move on to listening even more.
2. Try sitting with someone, and just talk casually about things, so that you'll be able to feel laughter and hapiness with people rather then anger and annoyance.
3. Finally, try just sitting in the middle of the classroom, and just try and not notice the voices.
The exercises should help you gain patience, and be able to help you control your temper. Remember to DO something about your anger, even if my suggestions don't work. It's not about not showing anger, it's more about not feeling it at all, though sometimes you can't help it. =DDDDDD
Answer:
I have a friend that use to be like that anything could set her off.. So we tried a few things. 1.) Instead of cussing we would use fruit.. Like OH STRAWBERRIES! 2.) When she started to feel up set she would think of something stupid that I had done then she would laugh. C.) Another thing she would do is draw silly pictures to keep her mind off the people who annoy her. These were all just little things to help keep her temper down, I hope they work for you.
listen to you iPod. try to listen to music that would clam you down...
Take some deep breaths and think to yourself, "well they are annoying, but what is getting angry going to do? Make them feel bad about themselves and get me into trouble and it's not going to change their behavour." Take a few more deep breaths and as soon as you can remove yourself from the situation to be alone even if just for a few minutes.
ok. well i guess it's good that your at least not keeping your anger IN, since it'll keep collecting, and eventually you'll crack anyway and blow up all at once (i know from experience, except i gathered anger up for 6 years and now i'm going insane. XP). So yea, at least your letting it out. But if you really think you have a problem, it's probably because your lack of patience. You can't stand the smallest things apparently, so just try practicing patience until you don't even notice those small things. I'm no yoga/therapist instructor, but i think these exercises might help:
1. Try asking someone to talk to you for like 1 minute straight, then 5 minutes, then 10minites, and so on, until you think you can handle people. Make sure you ONLY listen, and that you can handle the first increment before you move on to listening even more.
2. Try sitting with someone, and just talk casually about things, so that you'll be able to feel laughter and hapiness with people rather then anger and annoyance.
3. Finally, try just sitting in the middle of the classroom, and just try and not notice the voices.
The exercises should help you gain patience, and be able to help you control your temper. Remember to DO something about your anger, even if my suggestions don't work. It's not about not showing anger, it's more about not feeling it at all, though sometimes you can't help it. =DDDDDD
How can i cut smocking? i tried everything!!?
Answer:
Check at a health food store or pharmacy for Resolve lozenges. This is a natural product which blocks the nicotine from going into your body. Use these for a few weeks and they should help you kick the habit. The other thing is to mentally prepare yourself. If you aren't truly ready to face quitting, then you will set yourself up for disappointment. It really is a mental challenge but I know you can do it if you really want to.
I quit cold turkey very hard thing to do good luck
What is smocking. But the name sounds kind of fun.
Talk to your dr. he gave my husband and i a prescription for Chantix...it works really well and you dont have withdrawl symptoms. Really good product.!!
Smocking is actually an activity, so I wondered if you meant smoking or if you actually have some kind of addiction to fine needle arts and fabric stitching.
As for smoking, you can try hypnosis, nicotine gum, patches, therapy, or go cold turkey. :)
Check out the Great American Smokeout which aids people in the ordeal of getting off that particular drug.
I had to quit hanging around other smokers (even though some were close friends), and quit drinking.
I smoked a pack of 25 cigarettes a day for 25 years and quit in '92, using the patch. I believe the patch has been improved upon since then.
You may find it easier if you avoid drinking alcohol while you are quitting. Coffee and soda are two more triggers, but alcohol has the power to lower your resistance to the habit.
Even now, fifteen years later, I will occasionally think "I should have a smoke", but the thought disappears just as fast as it arrives.
It's a long hard battle, but well worth it.
How can i cure myself of internet addiction?
i always on online after work and at weekends. this is withdraw me always from my family that i losing them. i feel like staying home all day. i am anxious of food cause of the internet. and also i am so leave out from school and study.
Answer:
yea, I have the same problem. I automatically check myspace and then come here. Horrible! Suddenly hours pass me by. Well it's good that you recognize this at least. My suggestion for the both of us is to set a timer for like 15 minutes or whatever and then go do something else, anything else! for at least 15 minutes. Hopefully well forget about the internet by then! hmmm, i'll try it now...
Get off the damn thing. Have someone keep it for you for awhile. I like to go on ByeDr.com and all but it doesn't consume our lives
Turn off your computer. Go outside with your family for a few hours. Talking with people generally cheers a person up.
When you do turn on the computer, set a timer, maybe for an hour. If you actually turn the computer OFF it will help you to not go back to it.
A good plan is to choose one or two parts of the day to be on the computer - after school, or after your homework is done in the evening. Use it as a reward for doing all your work.
grab the computer monitor and throw it against the concrete. continue smashing it with a baseball bat until you feel better.
don't pay the cable bill.
I know it sounds weird but this is a fact I learned from a book.
Anytime you try to get rid of a bad habit you need to replace it with a good habit.
If you do not replace it there will be any empty spot hidden in the brain just waiting for the old habit to come home again. Boo! I gotcha again %26 again %26 again ect.
Set a timer or cheap alarm clock. Log off as soon as possible to beat the addiction.
I developed computer related tendinitis RSI my injury %26 pain helped to wake me up %26 make me log off earlier.
Learning my way is the wrong method believe me. Its not worth the pain.
Once you find other fun stuff / hobbies to do you may wonder why you sat around wasting your life away.
Good luck its a lifestyle change.
Answer:
yea, I have the same problem. I automatically check myspace and then come here. Horrible! Suddenly hours pass me by. Well it's good that you recognize this at least. My suggestion for the both of us is to set a timer for like 15 minutes or whatever and then go do something else, anything else! for at least 15 minutes. Hopefully well forget about the internet by then! hmmm, i'll try it now...
Get off the damn thing. Have someone keep it for you for awhile. I like to go on ByeDr.com and all but it doesn't consume our lives
Turn off your computer. Go outside with your family for a few hours. Talking with people generally cheers a person up.
When you do turn on the computer, set a timer, maybe for an hour. If you actually turn the computer OFF it will help you to not go back to it.
A good plan is to choose one or two parts of the day to be on the computer - after school, or after your homework is done in the evening. Use it as a reward for doing all your work.
grab the computer monitor and throw it against the concrete. continue smashing it with a baseball bat until you feel better.
don't pay the cable bill.
I know it sounds weird but this is a fact I learned from a book.
Anytime you try to get rid of a bad habit you need to replace it with a good habit.
If you do not replace it there will be any empty spot hidden in the brain just waiting for the old habit to come home again. Boo! I gotcha again %26 again %26 again ect.
Set a timer or cheap alarm clock. Log off as soon as possible to beat the addiction.
I developed computer related tendinitis RSI my injury %26 pain helped to wake me up %26 make me log off earlier.
Learning my way is the wrong method believe me. Its not worth the pain.
Once you find other fun stuff / hobbies to do you may wonder why you sat around wasting your life away.
Good luck its a lifestyle change.
How can i cure my anxiety?
Answer:
Hate to say it as it's not easy but your best bet and the current way of thinking is that you need to put yourself into positions that make you anxious and live through it. Obviously don't go out and climb everest if your anxiety is around heights but expose yourself to your fears gradually. At first you can take someone with you who will understand and get them to help you through it, then gradullay build up to doing things on your own.
If for example, your fear is around shopping, start by going to a small shop at a relatively quietly time of day to buy a couple of specific items. Do this regularly, e.g. once or twice a day for a week, then build up - go at a busier time of day or spend longer there. Set yourself a goal, e.g. spending a Saturday afternoon browsing around the shops each week and build up until you get there.
As I said it's not easy but it works! Good luck, Pud.
get out more. My friend has anxiety attacks because she is scared of accidents after losing her bro and dad in random accidents. She found that facing her fear and going to a club one night with her mates has made her less scared or going out or using transport etc
see your GP who will send you to the psychiatrist and go on from there
Fight against it - F*** everybody else and just get out there!!
try xanaz or valium talk to a dr
you should talk it out with someone you can really trust and hope that they can give you an answer but if not then do things that'll keep you cool, calm, and collective like a vacation or even ignoring stupidity....but if that doesn't work then go to a doctor and let them give you an answer for your problem....
hope for the best
Try to recognize what precipitates your anxiety. What is it specifically that you are afraid of? If its generalized and constant I would say see a professional.
Do you know what is causing your anxiety? Is it something specific or do you feel constantly worried and anxious about a lot of little things?
Sometimes talking with a doctor or therapist is the most effective way to control it.
Yeah, see your doctor if it's affecting you day to day. If he/she refers you to a counsellor who can help you with cognitive therapy then all the better. At the end of the day it's about changing the way you think about yourself and the world but you might need someone to help you through if it isn't too easy for you to make the changes in your life.
Health wise: cut out caffeine, sugary foods, simple carbs and eat more of the good stuff. Stopping the fluctuating blood sugar levels helps calm the system. And vigorous exercise is a good stress buster too.
i suffer from the same thing its hard but you will find it alot better if you just get out there, im writting this and thinking how far iv come from when i felt really bad. just try to be around your friends and laugh more!!
If it's affecting your everyday life activities, then you should probably go to your family doctor. They should be able to tell you whether or not you should go see a therapist. From there, the therapist will probably just talk to you and teach you how to cope. They might give you a medication to help adrenaline releases. They might even do both. But if you feel like it's not too serious, then maybe you should examine what you're nervous about. If you feel self-concious, try making a list of all the things that you like about yourself. Just know that real friends will like you for you, and if you mess up sometimes, so does everyone else. And I know it's hard to actually believe that saying that 'other people's opinions don't matter', but in truth, the only opinion that matters is the one that you hold about yourself.
EXERCISE ! ride a bike or buy a punching bag .. that's great always!
How can i cope with my borderline personality disorder and anxiety?
its ruling my life and stopping me from doing the things i want to do and stopping me from being the person i so want to be!
Answer:
I have had BPD all my life, I guess. I didn't know anything was wrong -- I just thought it was normal. I wasn't diagnosed until 1998. My doctor didn't give me a diagnosis; I knew I was depressed. I found out by accident when I was researching major depression on the Internet. I started connecting all the dots and asked my therapist if that is what his diagnosis was. He said yes but to be fair, do not label myself. I read everything I could find on BPD and found I didn't like myself very much. Once I knew I met 8 of the 9 criteria I was able to recognize these problems and be aware of my feelings. Accepting that there is a problem is the first step in solving that problem. I have been on meds since 1998, all different kinds, and in therapy since June 1998. I will be starting my tenth year with my therapist. He acknowledged that the accepted term of treatment for BPD is ten years. Now, he also says that he would not diagnose me as such. I still have black and white thinking, but I can work on that.
The best book I read was "Lost in the Mirror." A couple others are "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and "Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified." The more you understand your behavior, the better chance you have of doing something about it.
I hope you are in therapy and that you won't give up. Be patient with yourself.
Borderline Personality Disorder treatment can be difficult, but medications can be used to reduce some of the symptoms. At times a combination of medications is helpful. The most widely prescribed are antidepressants and mood stabilizers. In addition, atypical anti-psychotics may help reduce reckless and impulsive behaviors. It is also noted that after about 10 years of treatment, about half of those diagnosed no longer have the behaviors of BPD.
The majority of those with the disorder become gradually more stable in their emotions, relationships, and jobs when they reach the ages between 30 and 40 years.
If you think you might have BPD, seek medical and emotional help. Refrain from self-diagnosis and instead, seek help from professionals experienced in treating BPD. Many people have also found emotional help from a Christian counselor or local church leader. It is important to know that God loves you and wants to help you.
Examine closely http://1-800-therapist.com/index.html... (USA) Phone 1 800 843 7274 and find a therapist using Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT). See http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.co... (today.com) %26 http://www.behavioraltech.com/ (/downloads/dbtFaq_cons.pdf) and http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on page 6.
Answer:
I have had BPD all my life, I guess. I didn't know anything was wrong -- I just thought it was normal. I wasn't diagnosed until 1998. My doctor didn't give me a diagnosis; I knew I was depressed. I found out by accident when I was researching major depression on the Internet. I started connecting all the dots and asked my therapist if that is what his diagnosis was. He said yes but to be fair, do not label myself. I read everything I could find on BPD and found I didn't like myself very much. Once I knew I met 8 of the 9 criteria I was able to recognize these problems and be aware of my feelings. Accepting that there is a problem is the first step in solving that problem. I have been on meds since 1998, all different kinds, and in therapy since June 1998. I will be starting my tenth year with my therapist. He acknowledged that the accepted term of treatment for BPD is ten years. Now, he also says that he would not diagnose me as such. I still have black and white thinking, but I can work on that.
The best book I read was "Lost in the Mirror." A couple others are "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" and "Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified." The more you understand your behavior, the better chance you have of doing something about it.
I hope you are in therapy and that you won't give up. Be patient with yourself.
Borderline Personality Disorder treatment can be difficult, but medications can be used to reduce some of the symptoms. At times a combination of medications is helpful. The most widely prescribed are antidepressants and mood stabilizers. In addition, atypical anti-psychotics may help reduce reckless and impulsive behaviors. It is also noted that after about 10 years of treatment, about half of those diagnosed no longer have the behaviors of BPD.
The majority of those with the disorder become gradually more stable in their emotions, relationships, and jobs when they reach the ages between 30 and 40 years.
If you think you might have BPD, seek medical and emotional help. Refrain from self-diagnosis and instead, seek help from professionals experienced in treating BPD. Many people have also found emotional help from a Christian counselor or local church leader. It is important to know that God loves you and wants to help you.
Examine closely http://1-800-therapist.com/index.html... (USA) Phone 1 800 843 7274 and find a therapist using Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT). See http://www.borderlinepersonalitytoday.co... (today.com) %26 http://www.behavioraltech.com/ (/downloads/dbtFaq_cons.pdf) and http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on page 6.
How can I cope up with this stress.?
Am working in a certain company but I don't feel comfortable there because my boss keep on harrasing the workers.I want to leave but I don't know where to go.I feel so stressed up.Please help me.
Answer:
If your boss us harrassing you, report it to his/her supervisor. You don't have to be treated badly, and as far as getting another job, start looking now. Don't be afraid to say something at work, you're not the one in the wrong here. Good luck!
Is he harrassing you? If he is, then COMPLAIN about it. Man-up and grow some pears...
http://www.monster.com
Will send you job leads according to YOUR needs. Free.
This sounds strange but give it ago and see what happens, image that type of job and boss you want to have, see it as already happened. ask that it be so and let it go.
The best advice I can offer, is to keep your job but, send resumes to other companies, post on job search sites, on your days off, apply to other companies, search job offers in the newspapers, etc.
It's a tough situation to be in but, you will have an income, and still be looking for better prospects.
JUST THINK THAT WORK IS WORSHIP OK.IF TATS SO MORAL BY YOUR VIEW,then its all in the way that you make your mind set.actually if you are not comfortable with a place then the work tat you do will not have a good result so wat i recommend is that jus try for other companis for work so that a changed atmosphere can give you a mental relief.
Report it. If nothing is done get out. it will only get worse and worse.
pray to saint jude
You know what the Nike Logo is right? "Just do It? I quit just like that after my health started to suffer along from it. If there is a will to make things better, it will happen. You could go to a Doctor and get him to pump you up on Valium but is that how you want to live? I quit my job on my bosses birthday and it thru the whole office for a loop!
Answer:
If your boss us harrassing you, report it to his/her supervisor. You don't have to be treated badly, and as far as getting another job, start looking now. Don't be afraid to say something at work, you're not the one in the wrong here. Good luck!
Is he harrassing you? If he is, then COMPLAIN about it. Man-up and grow some pears...
http://www.monster.com
Will send you job leads according to YOUR needs. Free.
This sounds strange but give it ago and see what happens, image that type of job and boss you want to have, see it as already happened. ask that it be so and let it go.
The best advice I can offer, is to keep your job but, send resumes to other companies, post on job search sites, on your days off, apply to other companies, search job offers in the newspapers, etc.
It's a tough situation to be in but, you will have an income, and still be looking for better prospects.
JUST THINK THAT WORK IS WORSHIP OK.IF TATS SO MORAL BY YOUR VIEW,then its all in the way that you make your mind set.actually if you are not comfortable with a place then the work tat you do will not have a good result so wat i recommend is that jus try for other companis for work so that a changed atmosphere can give you a mental relief.
Report it. If nothing is done get out. it will only get worse and worse.
pray to saint jude
You know what the Nike Logo is right? "Just do It? I quit just like that after my health started to suffer along from it. If there is a will to make things better, it will happen. You could go to a Doctor and get him to pump you up on Valium but is that how you want to live? I quit my job on my bosses birthday and it thru the whole office for a loop!
How can I control compulsive shopping?
I just got paid today, %26 I have OCD, %26 I'm a compulsive shopper. What are some ways that can I control myself?
Answer:
Have you spoken to a certified professional about your problem? If not, one will be able to suggest healthy, productive ways to combat the compulsive behavior. Instead of shopping, make a list of all the things you need for your future, and then a list of the things you would have purchased had you hit the mall. Which list is better for your future? Do clothes, shoes, and purses help you pay for college or rent? Here's a hint I got from Oprah: If it goes on your *** it's not an asset.
You may need professional help. Speak to a counselor at your school.
If you have to stop, you have to STOP. STOP ALL OF IT. There is no way to shop in a controlled way if it is an addiction for you. Just like an alcoholic can't have just 1 beer a day. You need to stop it all.
Cut up your credit cards, give your debit cards to someone you trust. Explain the problem, and keep yourself out of any shopping environment for 30 straight days.
You need to work on what is behind this. You probably like the feeling you get when you shop. Well, I think you know the price is too high. If it satisfies your OCD then try other, alternate, FREE things to satisfy it. Draw pictures, make collages from old magazines, organize your closet. Find other outlets.
Good luck. Hang in there.
I used to have this problem myself.
The first step is to recognize your problem, and call it a problem.
I found that the times I spent too much money were:
A) when I was sad or upset - to feel better
B) when I found a really great clearance sale - it was a real "shopping high"
C) getting a paycheck - after going without for a l-o-n-g time.
D) when I had a "money-making-plan" I would invest more than I was able to make back successfully.
In one way or another - as life goes forward, there were times when I would feel emotionally low, or emotionally upset. To compensate, in order to make myself feel better , I would go out and find something to buy.
To start with, I would limit the amount to be spent. I would look and look until I found something "just right" for say, $3.
I also cut-up my credit cards, and stopped writing checks (they would bounce and I was left with huge fees I couldn't afford to pay)
I use cash.
I only allow myself to carry as much money with me as I can afford to use as "spending money", having figured out that over a month's time $100 comes out to $3 a day. So, if I spend more, then I know the next day or two I have none to spend.
If I have bills to pay, or need to set money aside, I get it out of my reach - in a bank account, or go ahead and pay the bill.
In many ways the problem of compulsive shopping is more of an emotional problem -- like any other addiction. It takes learning to identify why you do what you do, and when you do what you do -- then you can move to learning to recognize your feelings and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Maybe rather than spending, you would, say, chew a strong-flavored gum. That would be something to use one of your senses to get your attention and satisfaction. An action like that can move you away from the"moment" and "need" to spend money.
One word home boi.Xanax!
Answer:
Have you spoken to a certified professional about your problem? If not, one will be able to suggest healthy, productive ways to combat the compulsive behavior. Instead of shopping, make a list of all the things you need for your future, and then a list of the things you would have purchased had you hit the mall. Which list is better for your future? Do clothes, shoes, and purses help you pay for college or rent? Here's a hint I got from Oprah: If it goes on your *** it's not an asset.
You may need professional help. Speak to a counselor at your school.
If you have to stop, you have to STOP. STOP ALL OF IT. There is no way to shop in a controlled way if it is an addiction for you. Just like an alcoholic can't have just 1 beer a day. You need to stop it all.
Cut up your credit cards, give your debit cards to someone you trust. Explain the problem, and keep yourself out of any shopping environment for 30 straight days.
You need to work on what is behind this. You probably like the feeling you get when you shop. Well, I think you know the price is too high. If it satisfies your OCD then try other, alternate, FREE things to satisfy it. Draw pictures, make collages from old magazines, organize your closet. Find other outlets.
Good luck. Hang in there.
I used to have this problem myself.
The first step is to recognize your problem, and call it a problem.
I found that the times I spent too much money were:
A) when I was sad or upset - to feel better
B) when I found a really great clearance sale - it was a real "shopping high"
C) getting a paycheck - after going without for a l-o-n-g time.
D) when I had a "money-making-plan" I would invest more than I was able to make back successfully.
In one way or another - as life goes forward, there were times when I would feel emotionally low, or emotionally upset. To compensate, in order to make myself feel better , I would go out and find something to buy.
To start with, I would limit the amount to be spent. I would look and look until I found something "just right" for say, $3.
I also cut-up my credit cards, and stopped writing checks (they would bounce and I was left with huge fees I couldn't afford to pay)
I use cash.
I only allow myself to carry as much money with me as I can afford to use as "spending money", having figured out that over a month's time $100 comes out to $3 a day. So, if I spend more, then I know the next day or two I have none to spend.
If I have bills to pay, or need to set money aside, I get it out of my reach - in a bank account, or go ahead and pay the bill.
In many ways the problem of compulsive shopping is more of an emotional problem -- like any other addiction. It takes learning to identify why you do what you do, and when you do what you do -- then you can move to learning to recognize your feelings and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
Maybe rather than spending, you would, say, chew a strong-flavored gum. That would be something to use one of your senses to get your attention and satisfaction. An action like that can move you away from the"moment" and "need" to spend money.
One word home boi.Xanax!
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