I love to cook, to spend hours making meals for others but have no appetite myself. I now am deeply depressed (long time sufferer) and am seeking help again. My partner thinks the fact I dont eat is distorting my thoughts and feels starving myself is a possibly the only thing i feel i can control. I want to eat like a normal person but can't put most food in mouth, if i try i wretch.
Answer:
I suffer from depression and I don't eat, somtimes for days or weeks on end. Some people are effected in the opposite way and comfort eat, but it is just as likely to have either effect.
Someone once told me to try and view eating as you would putting petrol in a car..... without petrol the car doesn't run - without food the body doesn't cope.
That said, it doesn't always help me, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
I know that when I stop eating it does have an impact on my mental health, the same when I'm not sleeping well.. it is harder for the mind and body to deal with other symptoms if it hasn't got the basic things it needs to function.
I'm glad that you are seeking help again for your depression, as it sounds like you need some support.
Medication and or talking therapies may be the way to go, but also consider finding other sources of support as well.
I have had great help over the years from my local Mind association, and now count myself as priveleged to work for them.
They are easy to access, just give them a ring, they are informal but have lots of knowledge and information, and they offer all kinds of different services.
Try this link to see if you have one near you
http://www.mind.org.uk/mind+in+your+area...
It is also possible that they run or have information on Carers support groups that might be useful for your partner.
I have also given some links for information from the website, that might help you
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
Please try and get yourself as much help and support as you possibly can. It is out there, if you know where to look for it.
You need and deserve the best treatment you can get, and having support to go alongside any medical treatment really will prove enormously beneficial.
I know from personal experience!
you need to go to a support group. your not going to manage to change your attitude yourself.
You need psychological help. Anorexia sufferers for some bizarre reason like to think they can control hunger for food acting obssessively compulsive too.
Hi
I have depression too - but for me I have the opposite relationship with food
Just can't stop eating.
I have recently started an online Cognitive Behavioual Therapy course on line (I won't give you the details as I am not 100% happy with it) and although its not entirely right I can see that CBT will help me to start understanding my warped thoughts and hopefully move on. Maybe you should discuss a referral to a CBT counsellor with your GP.
well think you have to eat and some foods are helping your body in everyday life like fruits and rice bread meat .
i don't know why you may not have an appetite maybe your trying to lose weight pregnant go ask your doc for some advice maybe its a change of lifestyle something that you've experienced all sorts like those
These symptoms do sound typical of Anorexia Nervosa.
The 'accepted wisdom' seems to be that this MAY have to do with 'control', so maybe this has influenced you or your thinking too. Perhaps establishing the fact that you do have control over other areas of life would be useful. This may well require certain compliance and support and assistance from your partner.
Many cooks/chefs also eat poorly because of spending too much time working with foods they have no appetite when it comes to eating it (alternatively they may be just the opposite -- they just eat all the time and end up putting weight on!)
You should try eating things that take no time to prepare at all and also allow someone else to make meals for you -- perhaps this will help! In other words 'If you can't stand to eat, get out of the kitchen'! (to paraphrase an old saying!!)
Try adopting a a largely unprocessed, raw-food diet for a while. this will be easier in summer timne when it may not seem such an imposition to eat cold foods. Plenty of fruit, vegetables and try and get organic, local grown fresh-as-possible produce.
Try not to 'think' about the process of eating. Try and do it whilst doing something else (like watching a film or TV) so that you are not focussed on the actiual act of eating. If you have plenty of fruit, nuts (especially almonds, wallnuts, hazel nuts, brazils), and vegetables on hand that you can 'graze' on them through the day without making it 'a big deal' of great preparation, laying tables, sitting to eat a meal, etc, etc, maybe this will 'de-stress' your eating routine and make it easier for you to start eating again 'naturally'.
Above and beyond this, make sure you are properly hydarated by drinking a couple of litres of clean, pure (preferably mineral water) gradually through the day (a cup an hour is about right).
Some other useful lifestyle tips that might help at:
You could try taking a vitamin once a day, and reading that you said, most foods make you wretch, how about concentrating on those few foods that you do keep down, or can suffer to swallow...and allow yourself to eat a bit more each time.
If you really want to, you'll get where you want to be, if you are in two minds about it, you'll struggle against yourself. This may be because of an underlying belief, one which has been forgotten, to do with the 'unknown future' ie, we'll all be happy today if we / i do this or that, so I want to.but what if it goes wrong in a different way tomorrow? What's the point? It's not worth it, so I won't bother...
What do you think about what your partner said about control?
Do you have as much input as you want in everyday decisions etc,
We may not be able to 'control' tomorrow, but as today is built and rests on endless yesterdays, so does tomorrow, rest on each today, our efforts/decisions/achievements today, included.
There is a great book called 'Body Clutter' which is about our emotional relationships with food. You can read testimonials and order the book from www.flylady.com
Best wishes.
It's the depression honey.
Some binge, but some can't eat, like you.
Have you tried therapy? It really does help!!
Good Luck x x
it sounds like u could have an eatin disorder, bt not necessarily intentionaly. u say u are depressed. ur not eatin is the one thing that u feal u are in control of, bt its not always the best way to gain control. i'm glad to hear that u are seekin help this really will help and make a difference. i had an eatin disorder n slight depression. the way that i got through it all was by seein a phycartrist n basically sharin my thoughts with everyone i knew. by openin up they gave me insights i had never looked at before n it really did help. i agree with ur partner that by not eatin this is effectin your thoughts. although food gives us the basic nutrients of life they can also release endo-orphins which makes us happy. i can understand where your comin from, but dont let food control ur life, i did that and it was horrible, i couldn't b happy, i couldnt laugh with my friends i just felt so depressed. although in my case not eatin was a way of controllin my weight, now however with lots of help and support i can see that there is more important things in life. i'm only 15 now, i dont want to go down that road again, i've learnt to become more care free and have a positive view on life. i'm not sayin it was easy, even when i got over my eatin disorder i still suffered depression but seein a phycartrist does help and sharin ur fealings with others, as just by gettin the weight off ur chest can make i big difference. i no u can get through this. dont let food control ur life, there is so much more to life that just food, i no what ur goin through is hard and it will take time, bt just make u get help. hope at least some of this helps.
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