I can never fall asleep at night, I lie in my bed for hours thinking about what happened that day, what will happen tomorrow, and what has happened in the past. I've tried to meditate before going to bed but it just doesn't work.
When I finally do get to bed, I wake up a few hours later and start my way of thinking all over again. Usually it's something sad that I end up thinking about.
The only way I can fall asleep is to picture myself lying there, breathing, while thinking "inhale, exhale" but still my mind wanders while picture that AND saying inhale exhale. How can I make myself fall to sleep?
Answer:
Exercise in the evenings between 5pm to 8pm. Exercising helps release endorphins in your blood. The blood carries endorphins to your brain.
Avoid caffeinated and energy drinks 4hours before bed because they linger for a long time in your blood stream. Energy drinks will remain in your blood for up to 8 hours and will prevent you from leeping. Caffeinated drinks are diuretics and will keep your kidney active, thus interfering with your sleep cycle, as you have to keep going to the toilet.
Eat at least 4 hours before your "usual" bedtime. 2 hours before bed take a warm glass of milk with a medium or small banana; this increases the secretion of serotonin and melatonin, which help give you a sense of well being/euphoria and help induce sleep.
Someone like you, who seems like an anxious person might also benefit from massages right before you sleep; ask your partner/lover to give you a massage. Also,you might want to consider eating fish at least 3 times a week or taking omega fish oil supplements. Fish or omega oil supplements help with moods--the whole mechanism is too complicated to explain here, however, it works; it may help your mood.
Tai chi is very good for people with anxiety/stress issues. In Tai Chi, you're taught compsure, how to maintain calmness and reduce stress. If you can't meditate, Tai Chi is the next best thing to relaxing yourself. You might want to enrol in some classes. Hope the tips help you.
Exercise vigorously for at least 1/2 hour per day during the day, no exceptions, but NOT AT NIGHT. Avoid ALL stimulants including caffeine, all day long. Create a bedtime ritual, that lasts at least 30 minutes, including brushing teeth, etc... Also 2 hours before bed limit all entertainment to reading. No computer or tv or phone calls.
sadly, I have a tendency to go through this little process quite often myself. What helps to take my mind off of everything sometimes is playing some really soothing music that i can sing or hum along to in the dark as i'm laying there trying to fall asleep. For some reason, the singing along gets my mind off of all the other incessant things going on in my life.
Another thing I've tried to do is write out a lot of how I feel right before i feel. Whether online or in a journal, I think that writing this kind of purges the mind of all the busy stuff that goes on in there, and doing this prior to laying down gets me pretty tired and clears my head.
hope you get some rest soon.
There are a few things that can help you sleep at night.
One of them is exercise. Are you getting enough exercise? If you are, your body should be tired when it's time to go to bed.
Are you eating sugary foods or anything with caffeine in it before bed? Too much sugar or caffeine in your system can keep you up.
Sometimes watching TV or working on the computer right before bed can keep us up. It is recommended to turn them off at least a half hour before bed.
One thing that can help you fall asleep is anything lavendar scent. I hear it calms the nerves. Bubble bath, lavendar oil on the pillow or lotion. breathe it in.
Good luck, sleepless!
Avoid sugars and caffine and naps, talk to your doctor, make a routine for eating, pottying, bedtime, wake up time, exercising and so on. Also if your bed isn't comfortable fix that.. My boyfriend got a new bed because of his back and he sleeps like a baby now.
Sounds like you might have a bit of anxeity-I'm deffinatly no doctor-but sounds like stress or something like that. Try venting, lowering your stress level, relax, sit in a warm bath surrounded by a lavender scent listening to soothing music or meditate instead of sitting in the tub.
Or perhaps you have a small unnoticable pain that wakes you up, maybe try some Tylonol PM it helps me, but take it about 2 hours before you plan on sleeping and be sure you can devote 7 hours to sleeping or its hard to get up and around.
And lastly, my grama "taught" me how to fall asleep. Lay in bed, get comfy, don't move at all. Count slowly to 1000. If you move start back at one. I think the highest I've ever got is about 19 lol
Good Luck and if you havn't yet I'd be sure to see a doctor about it if I were you
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
How can I face my mother??
I'm 20 years old and I have something like agoraphobia and emotional disorder,so I moved back to my mothers home because I was getting crazy.
Now that I live with my family (mother,half brother and step father who's nones real father) I'm staying all the time in my room and don't bother anyone but my mother insists to talk to me like I am a sick person and I really hate this. Basically I don't want her to talk to me at all and so I used to shout at her or to ignore her but she just can't understand! What can I do?
Answer:
Give her some literature on your disorder that explains your desire to be alone and not bothered. Maybe that will help.
Well, basically you are a sick person. You need help for your problem. Agoraphobia is a real problem and you need to start counseling immediately. Your mom loves you and wants to help you. By talking to you she is trying to ease you into a social status even it means starting to socialize with just one person at a time. Seek professional counseling immediately this is not only ruining your life, but the lives of those who love you.
Maybe she care about you.
How about getting professional help.
Take mom along so she can understand too.
you need to have respect for your mother %26 stop being such a little snot-face. Your mom cares about you %26 is concerned for your well being. If you have a problen with the way she talks to you then tell her, respectfully, like you would any human being. Do not shout at or ignore her. If you continue to do so then you're an ungrateful little brat %26 she should kick you out of the house!
You shouldn't shut out your mother. Allow her to help you. Or else, why bother to move back home if you don't want anything to do with her?
You need to seek help. Find a mental health professional in your area and work through your emotional and mental issues.
I am not saying this to hurt only to help. Get the help you need now before you put too many layers between yourself and those who wish to help you.
Good luck. Seek help today.
KK
Well your mother is concerned about you like any good mother would be. She may want to make sure you are not a threat to yourself or anyone else. Does she think you are sucidual. You can talk to her about it when the both of you are calm, and try not to be mean to her. Trying being her for a minute, if it was the other way around how would you feel and how would you react. It is also commendable that she is allowing you to live in her house, she could just allow you to be admitted into a psyche ward, and allow you to be medicated and lost to the system. Give your mom some slack, talk to her but be gentle and sensitive. She is your mother, she is human just like you are and she also has feelings as well. Think about her feelings and her wishes, and think about how you want her to relate and react to you, and try to consider her feelings about this, and talk to her gently. If you think you will shout, get a mature adult that will not be bias, and maybe they can serve as a mediator.
Good Luck
It sounds like your mom is trying to help you. If you don't want to change, that would be annoying. Shouting at her or ignoring her is rude. You're 20, so she doesn't really have an obligation to give you a room.
It sounds like you need to get some help. That can be frightening, but it's not going to go away on it's own. You can't expect to stay holed up at your mother's forever. You have to deal with it sooner or later. You need to go see a doctor and be referred to a counselor. Some of your problem may be a chemical imbalance. If that's the case, medication could help you. Why don't you ask your mother to help you make a doctor's appointment? It would be a step in the right direction and it would probably ease your mother's mind. No doubt she's worried about you. Get help. Life is too short to spend it being uncomfortable when you don't have to. Good luck.
For anyone who hasn't been in this situation, it is natural to resent help. Of course your mother doesn't understand and you should sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling. This will prevent conflict in the future. For those who have insulted him, nice compassion there - I hope someone is as thoughtful when you're not feeling great. Agoraphobia can't be fully understood by someone who hasn't been there and I know how awful it can feel.
Panic attacks are quite prevalent in imagining the worst scenario. Of course your are frightened. Fear is really anger. Forgive yourself and others. I hope you're family knows about your situation and is supporting you. Get out of that room and go outside for a few minutes. Enjoy the nature God has given us. When you get more Vitimin D from the sun, you will feel much better. Start when you do feel better by walking a little distance from home. Get a cassett playing and listen to your favorite music but not wired music that can hurt you.
God bless you and please try.
I used to stay all the time in my room when I was 20. My stepdad literally grabbed me and tossed me out the front door. He said don't come back until you get a job. I walked 5 miles and came back with a small job. That led me to biking to work every day. Then, when I had $1500 saved, I bought a 1979 Firebird. I found weights that somebody was throwing out. I took them home and used them. I read about vitamins and minerals. Then I got a cheap apartment... and life went on.
sit her down and talk to her and explain it to her. Or write it in a letter and give it to her. Even if it hurts. THe truth hurts.
Now that I live with my family (mother,half brother and step father who's nones real father) I'm staying all the time in my room and don't bother anyone but my mother insists to talk to me like I am a sick person and I really hate this. Basically I don't want her to talk to me at all and so I used to shout at her or to ignore her but she just can't understand! What can I do?
Answer:
Give her some literature on your disorder that explains your desire to be alone and not bothered. Maybe that will help.
Well, basically you are a sick person. You need help for your problem. Agoraphobia is a real problem and you need to start counseling immediately. Your mom loves you and wants to help you. By talking to you she is trying to ease you into a social status even it means starting to socialize with just one person at a time. Seek professional counseling immediately this is not only ruining your life, but the lives of those who love you.
Maybe she care about you.
How about getting professional help.
Take mom along so she can understand too.
you need to have respect for your mother %26 stop being such a little snot-face. Your mom cares about you %26 is concerned for your well being. If you have a problen with the way she talks to you then tell her, respectfully, like you would any human being. Do not shout at or ignore her. If you continue to do so then you're an ungrateful little brat %26 she should kick you out of the house!
You shouldn't shut out your mother. Allow her to help you. Or else, why bother to move back home if you don't want anything to do with her?
You need to seek help. Find a mental health professional in your area and work through your emotional and mental issues.
I am not saying this to hurt only to help. Get the help you need now before you put too many layers between yourself and those who wish to help you.
Good luck. Seek help today.
KK
Well your mother is concerned about you like any good mother would be. She may want to make sure you are not a threat to yourself or anyone else. Does she think you are sucidual. You can talk to her about it when the both of you are calm, and try not to be mean to her. Trying being her for a minute, if it was the other way around how would you feel and how would you react. It is also commendable that she is allowing you to live in her house, she could just allow you to be admitted into a psyche ward, and allow you to be medicated and lost to the system. Give your mom some slack, talk to her but be gentle and sensitive. She is your mother, she is human just like you are and she also has feelings as well. Think about her feelings and her wishes, and think about how you want her to relate and react to you, and try to consider her feelings about this, and talk to her gently. If you think you will shout, get a mature adult that will not be bias, and maybe they can serve as a mediator.
Good Luck
It sounds like your mom is trying to help you. If you don't want to change, that would be annoying. Shouting at her or ignoring her is rude. You're 20, so she doesn't really have an obligation to give you a room.
It sounds like you need to get some help. That can be frightening, but it's not going to go away on it's own. You can't expect to stay holed up at your mother's forever. You have to deal with it sooner or later. You need to go see a doctor and be referred to a counselor. Some of your problem may be a chemical imbalance. If that's the case, medication could help you. Why don't you ask your mother to help you make a doctor's appointment? It would be a step in the right direction and it would probably ease your mother's mind. No doubt she's worried about you. Get help. Life is too short to spend it being uncomfortable when you don't have to. Good luck.
For anyone who hasn't been in this situation, it is natural to resent help. Of course your mother doesn't understand and you should sit down with her and tell her how you're feeling. This will prevent conflict in the future. For those who have insulted him, nice compassion there - I hope someone is as thoughtful when you're not feeling great. Agoraphobia can't be fully understood by someone who hasn't been there and I know how awful it can feel.
Panic attacks are quite prevalent in imagining the worst scenario. Of course your are frightened. Fear is really anger. Forgive yourself and others. I hope you're family knows about your situation and is supporting you. Get out of that room and go outside for a few minutes. Enjoy the nature God has given us. When you get more Vitimin D from the sun, you will feel much better. Start when you do feel better by walking a little distance from home. Get a cassett playing and listen to your favorite music but not wired music that can hurt you.
God bless you and please try.
I used to stay all the time in my room when I was 20. My stepdad literally grabbed me and tossed me out the front door. He said don't come back until you get a job. I walked 5 miles and came back with a small job. That led me to biking to work every day. Then, when I had $1500 saved, I bought a 1979 Firebird. I found weights that somebody was throwing out. I took them home and used them. I read about vitamins and minerals. Then I got a cheap apartment... and life went on.
sit her down and talk to her and explain it to her. Or write it in a letter and give it to her. Even if it hurts. THe truth hurts.
How can I escape my depression and anxiety without drugs?
I just want drugs, anything to make me feel better. god I miss doing blow.
Answer:
If it's situational depression, you can probably get by with more or intense exercise and counseling. If it's clinical depression, you might need some medication to help for a while, but yes, it would indeed be good to resolve this without dependence on medications.
Apart from clinical depression, most depression is caused by 'putting your hope in the wrong place.' Talk to a counselor for direction, and have lunches with a friend who is willing to listen to you. If cost is an issue, local churches usually offer free counseling. Professional counselors are good too, but there is no need to see them for more than 2 years...then you are considered dependent on them.
Try counseling.
I was under the same situation now i know one of the best ways to make you feel good is relaxation .You really need to do that .Working out also is very useful ,plus try to avoid bad thoughts as much as you can ,or at least dont go to deep with them.try to dress up well and in lively colors .try to meet your good friends more often and talk to them.but let the drugs be the last thing you try ...
See http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on pages 2 %26 6, and www.drdrew.com Speaking from experience, the longer you go without it, the easier it gets, but keep occupied.
narconon.org
Answer:
If it's situational depression, you can probably get by with more or intense exercise and counseling. If it's clinical depression, you might need some medication to help for a while, but yes, it would indeed be good to resolve this without dependence on medications.
Apart from clinical depression, most depression is caused by 'putting your hope in the wrong place.' Talk to a counselor for direction, and have lunches with a friend who is willing to listen to you. If cost is an issue, local churches usually offer free counseling. Professional counselors are good too, but there is no need to see them for more than 2 years...then you are considered dependent on them.
Try counseling.
I was under the same situation now i know one of the best ways to make you feel good is relaxation .You really need to do that .Working out also is very useful ,plus try to avoid bad thoughts as much as you can ,or at least dont go to deep with them.try to dress up well and in lively colors .try to meet your good friends more often and talk to them.but let the drugs be the last thing you try ...
See http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on pages 2 %26 6, and www.drdrew.com Speaking from experience, the longer you go without it, the easier it gets, but keep occupied.
narconon.org
How can i eliminate the pressure and stress and calm myself whenever i take a test?
im 16. im usually an "A" student but whenever i take a quiz or test, i get "Cs"!! how can i eliminate this?
Answer:
The night before, go over everything that'll be on the test. Then go to sleep. That's the best way to remember what you'll be being tested on. When you wake up do these simple relaxation exercises: Starting at the top of your body, clench your jaw, then relax it. Do the same with your shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, buttocks, legs, and feet.. Get up and eat a good breakfast. There. You've done all you can do. If you start feeling anxious at school, do those relaxation exercises. They work. Good luck to you!! I'd love to hear how it went!!
call the md for a mild anti anxiety drug
Practice the homework more. The tests and quizes are usually similar to homework. If you do good and understand the homework, you should do fine on tests and quizes.
Try breathing... deep breath in... deep breath out.. i dont get nervous unless i know i havent gone over the things i learnt in class...and i dont understand it... but i dont get nervous... try the breathing stuff.. :D gud luk
i chew gum or have some other snack. i also just constrate on the paper not whats going around me.
square breathing
Lorazapam. The brand name is Ativan.
This is the basic med that Docs prescribe for anxiety. It will get you down fast. The sub lingual (under the tongue version works the fastest)
It works!
Just knowing that nothing important will happen and if happen its not important
Read a book and take a course on NLP. This will help you focus in when you need it most.
Answer:
The night before, go over everything that'll be on the test. Then go to sleep. That's the best way to remember what you'll be being tested on. When you wake up do these simple relaxation exercises: Starting at the top of your body, clench your jaw, then relax it. Do the same with your shoulders, arms, hands, stomach, buttocks, legs, and feet.. Get up and eat a good breakfast. There. You've done all you can do. If you start feeling anxious at school, do those relaxation exercises. They work. Good luck to you!! I'd love to hear how it went!!
call the md for a mild anti anxiety drug
Practice the homework more. The tests and quizes are usually similar to homework. If you do good and understand the homework, you should do fine on tests and quizes.
Try breathing... deep breath in... deep breath out.. i dont get nervous unless i know i havent gone over the things i learnt in class...and i dont understand it... but i dont get nervous... try the breathing stuff.. :D gud luk
i chew gum or have some other snack. i also just constrate on the paper not whats going around me.
square breathing
Lorazapam. The brand name is Ativan.
This is the basic med that Docs prescribe for anxiety. It will get you down fast. The sub lingual (under the tongue version works the fastest)
It works!
Just knowing that nothing important will happen and if happen its not important
Read a book and take a course on NLP. This will help you focus in when you need it most.
HOW CAN i ELIMINATE NEGATIVE STRESS??
there are so may things going on right now and i'm stressed what can i do to relax and really feel good about everything...??
Answer:
My experience has been to run. There is something about the breathing, sweating and the fact the jerks that create the stress are too lazy to run with me i can really be alone and at peace for the duration of my run. No cell phone. No questions, no paperwork... just me and myself and a little peace. Careful though exercise can be very addictive. watch your bathroom scale and be cautious not to over do it. You will be surprised how good it can make you feel about yourself and the world. Start with a walk build up to a jog before you know you will easily run 45 minutes at a time. Good luck to you- let the endorphins roll!
Here is a link to a page in an on-line booklet on that will give you several practical things you can do to lessen stress and feel less threatened or overwhelmed in your environment.
http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/lesse...
Feel better!
Answer:
My experience has been to run. There is something about the breathing, sweating and the fact the jerks that create the stress are too lazy to run with me i can really be alone and at peace for the duration of my run. No cell phone. No questions, no paperwork... just me and myself and a little peace. Careful though exercise can be very addictive. watch your bathroom scale and be cautious not to over do it. You will be surprised how good it can make you feel about yourself and the world. Start with a walk build up to a jog before you know you will easily run 45 minutes at a time. Good luck to you- let the endorphins roll!
Here is a link to a page in an on-line booklet on that will give you several practical things you can do to lessen stress and feel less threatened or overwhelmed in your environment.
http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/lesse...
Feel better!
How can i educate my partner about my depression without scaring him?
I feel like he thinks that suffering from depression is some decision I've made that I can just snap out of. He gets frustrated when I cry for any reason and acts as if I'm being impolite or simply seeking attention. He gets pouty and says "I don't like it when you cry". As if that's going to change anything? He has never been close to anyone with depression (or anyone with any sorts of problems whatsoever it sometimes seems) so he spends a lot of time in denial about problems people face. Are there any good websites about depression that are geared towards people in a relationship with a depressed person? I want him to understand that my depression isn't just "in my head" but I also don't want to scare him away. In the past it seemed like he was giving me an ultimatum. As if to say "give up this depression act or you'll lose me". I've tried to tell him about it before but it's as if he doesn't want to believe me. I hope he'll be more open to information from an offical source.
Answer:
I am currently suffering with depression and had to tell my partner how I was feeling and what I was going through.
Basically, all I did was sit him down and say to him that I was feeling really down in myself and that although I knew that he hadn't any experience with anyone close to him having depression, I would try to explain it to him as best I could.
I think the best way is to be frank, open and honest without being patronising. Tell him that while you know it is hard for him to see you this way, it is equally hard for you to have these thoughts and emotions that you don't really understand yourself and sometimes can't control.
Although websites are an invaluable source of information, they tend towards the generic, which may not be too helpful for your partner, as everyone suffers depression differently.
You could also try keeping a diary and allowing him access to it. This way, when you are having a "bad" day, you can write down everything that is going on inside your head and let him see it in black and white. Also, write in it when you're having a "not so bad" day and your partner can see the difference in mood and emotions.
I hope this helps a little, I know it isn't easy, especially if your partner is showing signs of frustration or negativity towards you or your depression. You could always try telling him that sometimes his attitude towards how you are feeling doesn't help and that you need him to be there for you and that you're trying to help him understand you and where you're coming from.
This is a wrong time to discuss your depression with anyone except your counselor - the Virginia Tech shooter was suffering from depression.
Do you think keeping him as your partner is really healthy right now? He sounds unfeeling and cold-- not exactly the type of person to help you with your healing. If you feel he's giving you an ultimatum, I think it's time to dump him and focus on getting well.
type in living with deppression, on you home page..but too me it sounds like your partener has problems of his own ?. good luck
depression is an illness. when he gets a cold, flu or toothache ,tell him to snap out of it. when he fails he might understand what you mean. in the meantime he should be made to realise what your situation is. you need his support. i hope you get it
He sounds like a very cold unfeeling person. I hate to say it, but I don't think you'll get anywhere with him, he clearly doesn't want to understand what you're going through. As someone above said, if it was a broken leg, or the flu, he'd be understanding, but because it's something emotional he's reacting like you're putting it on, which is basically victimising you for your illness.
What you need to show him is this perhaps
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
which is an online booklet about depression. Also, try and explain to him that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes these symptoms. Other chemical imbalances can causes stuff such as schizophrenia and psychotic episodes, which you could also show him. He sounds like he's led an extremey sheltered and a little callous life so far.
If I were you, I'd find another man, can you imagine the attitudes your children would grow up with if he carries on like this?
He should know you well enough to know that you are not faking. But, give him a chance and inform him with "depression" information. Tell him to let you convince him about it once. Google info about deppressive disorders, read them and pick out the ones you think best fits you. Let him read it. By then he still doesnt believe you, then forget him. YOu have anough problems to deal with, he should be the one that stands beside you to help you cope through it, not give you more problems. You should be taking anti depressive meds, bring him along on one of your appointments to let the professional explain to him about it.
I feel for you, you are struggling to cope with an illness that can be debilitating and unfortunately haven't got support from the person closest to you.
Please visit the Mind website, it offers great information, in an easy to read and understand format. I've given a few links below to information that I think will help both of you,
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
but please take time to look around the website as there is loads of good information and advice.
Also use the link below
http://www.mind.org.uk/mind+in+your+area...
to find out where your nearest local Mind association is.
They offer support, advice and information to anyone who is suffering, but also to carers as well. They may have a carers support group, or will be able to direct you to one nearby.
Unfortunately mental illness is still widely misunderstood and many people view it as something to wary of, or totally deny that it is a real illness.
In fact, 1 in 4 people will suffer from some form of mental illness at some point in there life:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/157875...
http://education.guardian.co.uk/print/0,...
http://www.changes.org.uk/html/changes_-...
Maybe showing your partner some of the headlines surrounding this issue will help him to understand that it is a reall illness and one that needs treating seriously.
I hope that the information I have recommended helps you to encourage your partner to see that his view is not correct.
You deserve and need to receive support and treatment so that you can start to rebuild your life and begin to cope again.
Having a loving and understanding partner will make so much difference.
But remember that both of you do not have to do this alone, there is excellent help out there and available, if you know where to look for it.
I strongly advise that you contact your local Mind, all it takes is a phone call. You can refer yourself, and you can either go alone, or take your partner with you. They will be able to offer you support and help on a wide range of things that will help.
You need and deserve treatment that is right for you, medication and other medical approaches can be accessed through your GP, and these are valid and useful tools, but remember that you have a right in how you are treated, and that is where Mind will come in. Their services are centred around what you want and how you feel support will best benefit you.
Please remember that it is possible to start a journey of recovery, it will be hard work and there will be relapses on the way, but it is well worth the effort.
I hope that you can help your partner to better understand the illness that you suffer from, and that he will, with time, come to realise that you are not making any of it up, and that you need treatment and understanding.
Good luck to you and to your partner too.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, your partner just needs someone to shine a light to guide him towards it.
theres a good website about depression.www.depression.o...
It tells you the symptoms, warning signs, the effects it has on people, a summary of what depression is and lots more things. you should check it out it should give you all the info that you need to educate ur partner.
Good Luck : )
Answer:
I am currently suffering with depression and had to tell my partner how I was feeling and what I was going through.
Basically, all I did was sit him down and say to him that I was feeling really down in myself and that although I knew that he hadn't any experience with anyone close to him having depression, I would try to explain it to him as best I could.
I think the best way is to be frank, open and honest without being patronising. Tell him that while you know it is hard for him to see you this way, it is equally hard for you to have these thoughts and emotions that you don't really understand yourself and sometimes can't control.
Although websites are an invaluable source of information, they tend towards the generic, which may not be too helpful for your partner, as everyone suffers depression differently.
You could also try keeping a diary and allowing him access to it. This way, when you are having a "bad" day, you can write down everything that is going on inside your head and let him see it in black and white. Also, write in it when you're having a "not so bad" day and your partner can see the difference in mood and emotions.
I hope this helps a little, I know it isn't easy, especially if your partner is showing signs of frustration or negativity towards you or your depression. You could always try telling him that sometimes his attitude towards how you are feeling doesn't help and that you need him to be there for you and that you're trying to help him understand you and where you're coming from.
This is a wrong time to discuss your depression with anyone except your counselor - the Virginia Tech shooter was suffering from depression.
Do you think keeping him as your partner is really healthy right now? He sounds unfeeling and cold-- not exactly the type of person to help you with your healing. If you feel he's giving you an ultimatum, I think it's time to dump him and focus on getting well.
type in living with deppression, on you home page..but too me it sounds like your partener has problems of his own ?. good luck
depression is an illness. when he gets a cold, flu or toothache ,tell him to snap out of it. when he fails he might understand what you mean. in the meantime he should be made to realise what your situation is. you need his support. i hope you get it
He sounds like a very cold unfeeling person. I hate to say it, but I don't think you'll get anywhere with him, he clearly doesn't want to understand what you're going through. As someone above said, if it was a broken leg, or the flu, he'd be understanding, but because it's something emotional he's reacting like you're putting it on, which is basically victimising you for your illness.
What you need to show him is this perhaps
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
which is an online booklet about depression. Also, try and explain to him that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes these symptoms. Other chemical imbalances can causes stuff such as schizophrenia and psychotic episodes, which you could also show him. He sounds like he's led an extremey sheltered and a little callous life so far.
If I were you, I'd find another man, can you imagine the attitudes your children would grow up with if he carries on like this?
He should know you well enough to know that you are not faking. But, give him a chance and inform him with "depression" information. Tell him to let you convince him about it once. Google info about deppressive disorders, read them and pick out the ones you think best fits you. Let him read it. By then he still doesnt believe you, then forget him. YOu have anough problems to deal with, he should be the one that stands beside you to help you cope through it, not give you more problems. You should be taking anti depressive meds, bring him along on one of your appointments to let the professional explain to him about it.
I feel for you, you are struggling to cope with an illness that can be debilitating and unfortunately haven't got support from the person closest to you.
Please visit the Mind website, it offers great information, in an easy to read and understand format. I've given a few links below to information that I think will help both of you,
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
http://www.mind.org.uk/information/bookl...
but please take time to look around the website as there is loads of good information and advice.
Also use the link below
http://www.mind.org.uk/mind+in+your+area...
to find out where your nearest local Mind association is.
They offer support, advice and information to anyone who is suffering, but also to carers as well. They may have a carers support group, or will be able to direct you to one nearby.
Unfortunately mental illness is still widely misunderstood and many people view it as something to wary of, or totally deny that it is a real illness.
In fact, 1 in 4 people will suffer from some form of mental illness at some point in there life:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/157875...
http://education.guardian.co.uk/print/0,...
http://www.changes.org.uk/html/changes_-...
Maybe showing your partner some of the headlines surrounding this issue will help him to understand that it is a reall illness and one that needs treating seriously.
I hope that the information I have recommended helps you to encourage your partner to see that his view is not correct.
You deserve and need to receive support and treatment so that you can start to rebuild your life and begin to cope again.
Having a loving and understanding partner will make so much difference.
But remember that both of you do not have to do this alone, there is excellent help out there and available, if you know where to look for it.
I strongly advise that you contact your local Mind, all it takes is a phone call. You can refer yourself, and you can either go alone, or take your partner with you. They will be able to offer you support and help on a wide range of things that will help.
You need and deserve treatment that is right for you, medication and other medical approaches can be accessed through your GP, and these are valid and useful tools, but remember that you have a right in how you are treated, and that is where Mind will come in. Their services are centred around what you want and how you feel support will best benefit you.
Please remember that it is possible to start a journey of recovery, it will be hard work and there will be relapses on the way, but it is well worth the effort.
I hope that you can help your partner to better understand the illness that you suffer from, and that he will, with time, come to realise that you are not making any of it up, and that you need treatment and understanding.
Good luck to you and to your partner too.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, your partner just needs someone to shine a light to guide him towards it.
theres a good website about depression.www.depression.o...
It tells you the symptoms, warning signs, the effects it has on people, a summary of what depression is and lots more things. you should check it out it should give you all the info that you need to educate ur partner.
Good Luck : )
How can I discipline myself?
I feel that I have no disclipline of whatsoever and its getting to make me feel sick
Answer:
By setting up goals that you believe in and want to accomplish. Create baby steps that you have to follow to achieve your goals. Remind yourself constantly what your goals are and WHY they are your goals. Whenever you are doing anything, especially something that you don't think is right, or you are feeling sick from, ask yourself, "Is this behavior in line with my goals? Is it helping me reach my goals? Is it good for me?" etc.
Depends on what you need discipline on. Being a rebel is cool. Acept who you are!
Look at a picture of Rosie O'Donnnell and let that be the consequence of failure!
set up rules for yourself that you have to keep.its all about self control and how much you want to discipline yourself.
Answer:
By setting up goals that you believe in and want to accomplish. Create baby steps that you have to follow to achieve your goals. Remind yourself constantly what your goals are and WHY they are your goals. Whenever you are doing anything, especially something that you don't think is right, or you are feeling sick from, ask yourself, "Is this behavior in line with my goals? Is it helping me reach my goals? Is it good for me?" etc.
Depends on what you need discipline on. Being a rebel is cool. Acept who you are!
Look at a picture of Rosie O'Donnnell and let that be the consequence of failure!
set up rules for yourself that you have to keep.its all about self control and how much you want to discipline yourself.
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